Occult Books

by Ron Gilbert
Jul 27, 2015

Here is the wireframe for the Occult Bookstore. I know what you're saying: "Whoa, that's a lot of books, how are you going to come up with names for all those books when the player scans their cursor across the screen?"

Funny you should ask that.

I'm a big fan of the Tom Sawyer school of game design. Why paint that fence if you can get all your friends to paint it for you, or in this case, name all those books.

There are close to 300 books in the book store. They are too small to be individually touchable, so 2 or 3 books will probably make up the hotspot, which should be fine. There is a puzzle involving finding a book, but the player won't be tasked with the monotony of scanning all the books to find the one they need. There will be an object that locates the book, and that is the real puzzle. All the books having funny names is to make the store fun to explore.

And this is where you come in... We need names for all those books. The rules are:

1) The name has to be less than 35 characters.
2) It should be a book you'd find in an occult bookstore.
3) Ignore #2 if it's really funny that the book is found in an occult bookstore.
4) The title can include a "by ..." if the total length is less than 35 characters.
5) Include a "by ..." only if it is part of the humor.
6) Pay attention to #2, we're not just looking for funny book titles, but ones that would be found in an occult bookstore.
7) #6 is really important.

Post your submissions in the comments.

- Ron


I'm closing the comments. There are well over 1000 comments and probably 2000+ useable book titles. What great fun! Thanks to everyone for contributing! There are some really funny titles that I LOL'd at. And if you know me, I don't use LOL very lightly. When I LOL, I really mean it. LOL.

The next step will be to copy all the book titles from the comments and drop them into a spreadsheet, remove the bad ones (sorry if I hurt your feelings) and wire them in. Given the number of books, Mark is going to have to adjust the room, probably by making it comically tall. The only skyscraper in Thimbleweed Park is the Occult Bookstore.

Love it.

Please don't leave book titles in the comments of other posts, I'll delete them. Don't screw with me!


Best. Backers. Ever.

L Dimas - Jul 27, 2015 at 11:58
Nearsightedness of the shadows.

Pieter - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:00
Voodoo for Dummies by Voodoo Lady

Peter Campbell - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:44
Darn it, I was literally going to go with "Voodoo for Dummies" lol but I'm sure almost everyone was thinking the same thing since it's such an obvious joke lol.

Pieter - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:08
Great minds think alike ;-)

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:24
"Voodoo Dolls Explained Pin by Pin"

RJT - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:00
Debunking Debunking
Fishing for the All-Soul
All About Om

Javier Berezovsky - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:00
Chupacabras and suckers of other animals

Javier Berezovsky - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:02
Just noticed its too long. Maybe "chupacabras for suckers"

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:15
I think Ron should make an exception.  Yours really made me chuckle!

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:14
I guess the character limitation is because it has to fit in the GUI...

Maybe if they just added a new interface for when you look at the books....
Eh.  I guess I'm not witty enough to come up with something short and sweet.

Markus - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:02
How to date the prince of darkness

Markus - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:07
Dead pirates by LeChuck

Mahatma Kane Jeeves - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:02
Lovecrafts: 666 Occult Art Projects

Jon Couldridge - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:28
I enjoy this a lot!

Michael Specht - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:02
Let me just state the obvious here: "Joy of Hex"

Daniel Wolf - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:27
Good one! :-)

Jon Couldridge - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:28
Yeah, necessary really.

Javier Berezovsky - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:03
The banshee's guide to karaoke

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:37
Great! Love it :)

<3 - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:04
Autobiography, by Ron Gilbert

Nicholas Higitus Figitus - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:05
"A Guide To Black Magic" and next to it "A Guide to White Magic (For Racists)" Love to see the progress updates Ron!!! =D

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:49
A guide to pink magic

Josejulio Martínez - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:05
How i killed a zombie by some Guy.

Darkstorm - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:05
Baron Samedi Bible
How I Learned to stop Living and Love the Occult
Anubis Gates for Dummies
Cthulu and Me

Steven Don - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:07
Dang. "The True Fate of Atlantis by H Jones" is 36 characters :-(

Javier Berezovsky - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:07
Online hexes for the modern witch

Dominik - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:08
Rubber,Spit&Grog: 666 recipies

Jeff - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:08
How To Cook Humans
How To Cook For Humans
How To Cook Forty Humans
How To Cook For Forty Humans

Marco Lizza - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:15
"Hungry are the Damned"! Great teen memories! :D

I'd go with "How to Concot A Perfect Root Beer - by Voodoo Lady"

Grayer - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:17
Very nice!!!

Derrick Reisdor - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:16
A Simpsons homage?

simpsonite - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:24
Yeah thats from treehouse of horror, dont know which episode, but could make trouble copyrightwise

Marco Lizza - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:17
The very first one installment episode, of course!

simpsonite - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:39
Yeah thats from treehouse of horror, dont know which episode, but could make trouble copyrightwise

Rum Rogers - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:01
This is just a Simpsons ripoff. Shame on you.

lemonCurd - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:08
Advanced needlework by G. Threepwood

Andrew Bryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:08
How about a reference to Ghosbusters: "Tobin's Spirit Guide"..

But perhaps make it a book about cocktails:
" Tobin's Spirit Guide (bartending)"

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:41
I like the idea

Herbacha - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:09
50 Shades of Ghosts

Erik - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:48
'50 Spells With Clay' :)

will jane - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:09
Ghosts - All 50 shades
Ghosts - 50 shades of grey

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:20
How about "Shifty Fades to Gray"

Michael Fessenden - Jul 29, 2015 at 09:58
I think we have a winner :)

Peter Lane - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:10
How to be resurrected - By LeChuck
Omnipresence - By Chuck the Plant

NylonGamer - Jul 30, 2015 at 09:01
LOVE the second

Petruza - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:10
How to find Atlantis by I. Jones

Alex Ward - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:10
Black Magic by Malcolm Hex

Jeremy G - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:10
101 Damnations by C. Deville

Paco Zafra - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:11
What about: "How To Sell Leather Jackets by I.J." :-D

Iketani - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:11
How to run an occult bookshop

count - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:12
Amiga Hardware Reference Manual

Ron Gilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:20

Tom - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:10
OK, but the Guru Meditations were software, weren't they?

Tim Lammert - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:19
That one is hilarious :D

Tim Lammert - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:27
The one with the Amiga Manual was meant.

Jon Couldridge - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:30

Masternoob - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:13
Selling your soul for dummies

Click - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:13
Grandma's Cookie Recipes

Geoff - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:13
Black Magic for White People

beck - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:14
The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood
A Guide to Insult Sword Fighting
Chron-O-John's and the Importance of Real Diamonds

beck - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:15
bah! Chron-O-Johns*

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:53
Using Gauze in Magic by Ted Edison

Metzger - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:15
Occultism QR-Codes & Apps by Apple

2 - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:16
Second Life

Rum Rogers - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:16
Unrevealed secrets - by Ron G.
Skipping the 3rd game - by Ron G.

Ted Steffens - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:17
Alchemy for the Entrepreneur

Chris T. - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:18
Warlocks are from Mars, Witches are from Venus
7 Habits of Highly Effective Sorcerers
Rodents Quarterly: Extended Rats Edition
Witches be Crazy: A Survival Guide
Satan and You: Let the Dark Lord In
Are You There Satan? It's Me Guybrush
Cauldron Classics: A Cookbook for the Worst of Us

Joe - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:20
The Monster at the End of This <gah dang 30 character limit>
Sacrificing without Sacrifice

Gosh these are bad

Gröhni - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:21
From Aether to Zodiac

Petruza - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:22
Social impact of Voodoo resuscitation: good or bad?

Cirion - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:22
Mastering Daemons by L. Torvalds
Howto put the Do in VooDo
A guide to VooDo and VooDon't

honze - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:13
These are great!

LichiMan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:23
Why Pirates like Rum (Gilbert) by Gary's Fox in a Ferrari.
Well, Rum in Spanish is Ron...

LichiMan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:24

Erkki - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:26
Todo Sobre Ron by Voodoo Lady

Tunrip - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:23
I just really want to say...

How to get a Head in Navigating

Jessica - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:24
Voodoo Stew and Other Recipes
How to Craft 3-Headed Animals
Guide to the Alien Mind-benders
How to Make Navigators Portable
Spell-check for Spells
Concise Dictionary of Crystals
Advanced Golem Forging

Ted - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:24
Aleister Crowley and the Silly Hat

hexdie - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:24
Dye, Dye, Dye My Darling by Miss Fit

Gurli - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:25
Honey i sacrificed the kids

Matt - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:25
The Necronomic Comic

Runes for Ruining Rooms

Slightly Dangerous Curses

100 Annoying Curses

100 More Annoying Curses

The 4th Eye: Are 3 Not Enough?

Are You My Elder God?

Llamas: The Ultimate Evil

Carla - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:28
100 less annoying curses


Peter Lane - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:25
The Evil of Porcelain - By G.T

The Spells of Atheists

Joy of Maps - By Wally

Darkstorm - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:25
The Secret Diary of Aleister Crowley, Aged 413¾
Illuminating the Underworld, by L. Morningstar
A History of Accidental Vampire Killings by Ms. Stake
Love your Leftovers : 101 Goat Recipies

Hmm, 35 characters is a bit limiting. :/

MEEP - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:27
Rhyming Voodoo Recipes

Monty - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:27
How to clean you soul in the washer

Ted - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:28
How to Identify a Mason by M.P. Thon

Joseph Nelson - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:28
Beginners Guide to Tantric Fax
Pentagrams and the Metric System
Chicken Soup for the Undying Soul
Miskatonic Occultism Journal Vol 4
So You Want to be a Cultist?
Real Men have Crystal Balls
I Love Lucid Dreaming
Cultist's Guide to  Mêlée Island
Magic versus. Magick: Why the K?

Andy Smtih - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:28
Ju Ju bag Crochet by Count Christo

Christian - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:28
Summoning Demons
Banishing Demons
Banishing Mothers-In-Law I
Banishing Mothers-In-Law II
Banishing Mothers-In-Law IV
Finding your Spirit Animal
Cooking your Spirit Animal
How to groom your Yeti

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:54
R. Messner: Just a Myth? by Yeti

hexdie - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:29
Chicken Soup (in exchange) for Your Soul

Joe - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:30
Keep Skeletons in their Closets

Mancomb - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:31
Confessions of an aquaregia addict
Do-it-yourself voodoo dolls
Witchcraft for dummies
from A to Wizard by H. Mugger
100 new uses for newt eyes
Eyecandy and other recipes

Name - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:31
Zombification: Step By Step

sam - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:31
Practical Pandamancy
Dungeons & Flagons 2nd Ed.
Calling all Cthulhu
Twisty Passages
50 Shades of Octarine
Do You Voodoo? Now you do!
Do You Voodoo? Now you do too!
Spice & Thyme: Cooking Magic
Magic Snacks: The Nominomicon
Great Evocations
Slouching Towards Release
Frog and Toad are Ingredients
Eye of Newt, Hair of Dog
Mystic Pizza Recipes
The Dreamlands on $15 a Night

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:12
"Magic Snacks: The Nominomicon"!!

This one nearly made me spit my mouthful of midget gems over the losers on the train.

Best title so far by a country mile! Well done sir!

JP - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:46

Takehaniyasubiko - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:32
Purging Demon Pirates by Gon Ribert

Stefan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:34
Beloved Mummies by Tutanchamun

Falko - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:35
Life after the Afterlife
Levitation for Dummies
The Moon Landing Hoax Hoax
Goth Costumes 101

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:36
Make them create book titles

andre garzia - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:36
zen & the art of ghoul repair

worstcase - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:36
Hexenhammer und Sichel

Javi Taiyou - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:37
"Witchcrafter's Guide to the Galaxy"
"Copyrighting spells in the digital era"
"42 Voodoo recipes to guide your ship"
"Emojis and ouija: updated guide"
"Playing to be God by: God™"
"A wizard's guide to fireproofness"
"Voodoo and digital pirates"
"Women and black magic: how to understand them"
"No brain required: social networking for Zombies"
"Satanic rituals: a 12-step guide to mindfulness"
"Unsullied: black magic and virginity in the 21st century"

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:37
The guide to Maniac Mansion

lemonCurd - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:39
Deliver Software on Time and Budget
Projectmanagement for Fun and Profit

Falko - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:40
The Chainsaw Fuel Massacre

LichiMan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:40
Time Travels by Skynet Johansson

Milo Casagrande - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:41
Authentic Thimbleweed Voodoo Dolls
Voodoo Dolls for Your Wedding
Love & Death: Potions & Concoctions
How to Resurrect Your Pet

Introman - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:41
Delegation by Ron Gilbert

Erik - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:56
Nice one! Iterating...
'The art of delegation by Ron Gilbert'

Alessander - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:10
I would propose these too! Congratulations :-P

Darkstorm - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:42
Exposing False Prophets by Tosh Iba

A ghost - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:42
Write Your Own Occult Books

Anthony - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:42
Innsmouth and its Environs
The Kotraus of Dacksolzingaur
Dunwich: A Rambler's Guide
Weaponizing your Fears
Unburying the Bones: A Memoir
Grimoires and Gannets
A Child's Treasury of Spiders
Oculudum: Games with Eyes

Lou - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:43
Necromancy: Making New Friends

Sun Tzu - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:43
The Art of Warts

Simon Hyldgaard - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:45
Black Magic Woman by C. SATANa :)

Max - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:48
"book'); DROP TABLE Books;--"

Ron Gilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:14
That's hilarious!

honze - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:17
by Bobby Tables

Zarbulonian - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:02
See https://xkcd.com/327/ for context.

Geoff Paulsen - Jul 29, 2015 at 10:46
Ha!  Thanks for the reference for those of us who have vowed to never learn SQL.

Marcelo Ellmann - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:48
Voodoo Murders by G. Knight
Sins of the Fathers by J. Jansen

Would be a fair homage :)

Danish Guy - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:49
Books that sound like they could be in that book store:

The Lost Pyramids of Belgium
JFK sold the Moon to Aliens!
The World is acutally in 3D
Polish Atlantis
How to Smell Color
Undead Kosher Rabbits

And here are some silly ones:

The Making of the Thimbleweed Park Adventure game
How to make Tentacles, by E. Edison

Danish Guy - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:55
I thought of one more:

8-bit naval warfare by Commodore Sixtyfour

Danish Guy - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:00
Oh yeah, I thought of two more (sorry for the spamming).

UFO's of the USSR!
Ancient Aliens of Greenland

JamesB - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:49
Lay Lines by Linus Layman

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:49
Mark Ferrari by Ron Gilbert

vegetaman - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:49
The Joy of Summoning Demons
How To Summon Water Spirits
A. Crowley's Cryptography
LaVey's Favorite Crosswords
Build a Lament Configuration
Impersonating Demons
Grimm's Not So Fairy Tales
Commune With Wiccans
Morning Incantations
Magic Spells from A to Z
Occult Materials And You
Ritual Sacrifice for Newbies
Learn Witchcraft in 24 hours

I had a bunch more but they were all 60+ characters (like: "Mountain Climbing Is Hard by Alestier Crowley') or ('Growing Awesome Facial Hair by Antoine Sandzor LaVey'), so I revised the list as above. Maybe one or two of them isn't too bad...

nico - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:51
Auchwitz Gaz Chambers documentation
Timbleweed Park : The hint book

Jacob Albano - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:52
Shadows, Reflections, and You

Henning - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:52
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons

Gabriel - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:53
I think none of these follow all the rules, but rules are meant to be broken (?):

Secret opcodes of the SCUMMVM by Gil Ronbert
It's all midichlorians: Black Magic explained
Monkey Business: Get funded with bananas
DMCA: Author commented edition by Satan
You fight like a cow: How to escape from Milka
Advanced Voodoo for Javascript experts
Head of the Navigator, GPS upgrade guide.

Gabriel - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:50
Easter Egg Recipes (includes Disk 22)

Tunrip - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:53
Chocolate and Binding Spells
You and Ewe:Bleeding Bleaters
Chocolate and the Occult
101 Things To Do in a Cellar
Sacrificial Chocolate
Don't Junk your Dragon
Selling Souls for Chocolate
Maintaining your Broom by RLP
Don't Djinn and Drive
I Dream of Genie

Nikola - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:53
Dark rituals vol3: Climatology
They made me do it by Bill G.
Mind control with cat videos

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:54
Thimbleweed Park Hint Book

Monotreme - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:54
Holistic surgery for beginners
Black Magic
Grey Magic
Slightly Off-White magic
Blood removal & other household tips
Advanced voodoo doll dressmaking
Crystal Tips and Aleister
How to hex friends & hypnotise people
Gray’s Effigy in a churchyard

+ something with Ley Lines, but feeling uninspired.

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:55
Comb hair without reflection

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:55
The Joy of Hex

Brian Small - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:55
The Dreamcatcher in the Rye

Hodge - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:42
Love it!

danelle - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:55
I hope The Joy of Hex will make a reappearance! ;)

Eat, Slay, Coven
The Very Hungry Shoggoth
Fresh Dirt: A Necromancy Primer
Necromnomicon: Occult Cooking 101
Entrails: The Definitive Guide
Giving Death A Second Chance
Cannibals Are People Too by L.H.
Saying Yes To Chtulhu
Baby's First Necronomicon
17 Spells For Body Odour
My Child Is Human: When To Panic

Peter Campbell - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:57
Critically important question: I'm guessing they do but to be sure, do spaces in-between words count as characters?

Michael Hoste - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:57
Learn to Time Travel in -21 days
Lapis Philosophorum by W. Buffett
(or Fountain of Youth by D. Bowie)

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:57
Caring for your Hexi-Pal by T. S.

Dave - Jul 27, 2015 at 12:58
Spells for the working witch
Satanism in our time by D. Ville
Modern witchcraft
Exorcising for fun and profit
Baby's first grimoire
The illustrated Picatrix
Space, time and black cats
101 pagan party games

Dave - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:29
"Getting to Know Your Familiar"
"Summoning Success"
"Trinkets, Traps and Trickery"
"Common Apparitions by B. Gohn"
"Everyday Rituals"
"1-2-3 Apocalypse"

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:00
Make 'em pay before production

jfrisby - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:00
Degaussing Your Impala

jfrisby - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:07
Apocalypse 2016

Baril - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:00
Noddy and the Necronomicon
Fifty Shades of Cthulhu
Lonely Planet: Transylvania
Ressurrecting Scumm by Ron & Gary

Tom Koelman - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:02
+1 To "Lonely Planet: Transylvania"

Ben H - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:01
The Answer is 42
Broken Bones and Castes
Occult Drawing by The Gimp
Hexes for Ex's
Who do Voodoo? by U. Due
Get a Life! by Ima Dedd

Dark Shadows reference - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:01
Collins Family History

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:02
Are you my Mummy by S. Moffat

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:13
Who!? ;-)

lemonCurd - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:02
Geheimnisvoll wirken durch Fremdsprachen    (I can't put a German title in 30 characters).
How to properly encode an ß

honze - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:30
This game should support UTF-8 or Unicode. We don't live in 1986... :-p So just use öäüß...

Translate the German book title into English, pass the character limit and wait for the translator to solve the problem... :-)

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:51
The joke only works with two languages like a German book title in an English adventure:
Geheimnisvoll wirken durch Fremdsprachen = obscure appearances thru foreign languages

May be you can alternate his a bit like:
obscure behave with dead languages (still 35 characters :-( ),
obscoore thru straing spokeings (kind of word play to save the joke even in english)

lemonCurd - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:40
Those were both supposed to be book titles - and funny. I'm sorry it didn't work. I will put further book titles in quotation marks.

As Steffen pointed out, you need some German to get the first one. And the second one is probably only funny when you've just spend a day trying to convince a web server on a Unix machine to write a file with those *** German characters in its name, and then get Zip to zip it in a zip file, and then the web server to present it for download, and utterly failed. Well, probably the only thing that is funny about that, after all those years, it's still a problem. Umlaute and ß are a pain in the ass, and they were even more so in 198x, so it might still be a worth a try. Maybe "The secret of the codepages,  Volume 850".

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:33
"The secret of the codepages,  Volume 850" ...this joke still works today and probably also in the next 100 years!
Nice one.

Stefano E. - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:02
"Voodoo magic for dummies"
"Thimbleweed Park catacombs"
"How to build your grave in 24 hrs"
"100 funeral jokes"
"Do ghosts go to the bathroom?"

edwin - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:03
How to spell backwards on mirrors by Johnny

Edwin - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:05
woops, should be door in stead of mirror. Lol

LichiMan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:05
Occultus Rift: The bi-monocle.
by Wally B. Feed

LichiMan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:05
Occultus Rift: The bi-monocle.
by Wally B. Feed

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:06
Yes you incan: How to Cast with Confidence

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:06
Cooking: The Necromnomnomicon

Theo - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:06
Love potions and other drugs by Cliff Huxtable

Theo - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:08
Darn, albeit probably risking a law suit, I found myself so funny, I didn't count the letters...

Well, just leave out the "by" then... Although it loses quite a bit, I think ;)

Paul Jacobson - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:08
The Big Popup Book of Cthulu
666 Hilarious OUIJA Mistakes
The Joy of Hex
50 Shades of Dismay
Make a House From Candy!

Uli Kustere - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:09
Strunk & White Magic

Ricardo Marichal - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:09
Commodore 666: Programmer's Reference Guide.

Brian Ruff - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:10
Forgotten Budgets by G.Gamer
The Secret of Skywalker Ranch
Voo-dude by G. Threepwood
Astrology For Punks & Jerks

Colin - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:10
The Vegan's Guide to Seitanism
The Omnomnomicon
Maniac Mansion Strategy Guide
The King in Yellow Go-Go Boots

ch - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:11
Arcane Yearbook '83
All-seeing Eyes for Beginners
Summoners Digest

anish Guy - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:11
Chemtrails killed the Dinosaurs
The Moon is Hollow
UFO Identification Guide

Anthony - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:12
"How to Create a Voodoo Doll Playhouse"
"Pentagram Postman:  Enticing Love Letters"
"Eating Like a Queen in New Orleans" By Marie Laveau
"Bigfoots Baby:  A True Love Story"
"My Daddy Drives a UFO"
"A Guide to Crystals and Skulls BUT NOT CRYSTAL SKULLS"
"You Are Looking For Page 57:  A Guide to Divination" or "A Guide to Divination...But You Already Knew That"
"Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good:  A Memoir" By R. Stantz
"So, You Want to Shrink Some Heads?"
"Deja Vu"
"Deja Vu Again"
"Deja Vu:  Not a Copy"
"Deja Vu:  There's a Whole Lot of Vu Going On Here"
"Deja Vu:  The Re-Vuening"
"1967:  How the World Will End" By P. Hill
"1968:  How the World Will Really End" By P. Hill
"1969:  How the World Will Really Really End" by P. Hill
"1970:  Worlds End:  Seriously, It's Coming" By P. Hill

Andrew Bryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:12
0xDEADBEEF and Other Hexes

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:27
Brilliant! :-)

Ricardo Marichal - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:12
The translation of the names of the books into other languages will not be easy. Especially if the joke is too ... American?

Egon Spengler - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:12
Tobin's Spirit Guide

ZUUL - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:13

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:13
Toad Complete by Eve McConnell

Frédéric Donckels - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:14
How to find a book in an occult bookstore
Hex, Lies and Videotapes
50 Shrouds of Grey
The Thimbleweedonomicon
Mindfulness for zombies
Coming out of the casket

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:16
Who're you gonna call?
(and next to it)

Ben H - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:17
Law 101 by Attila the Hun
Advanced Law by Genghis Khan
Attorney Reference Manual by Satan

Erik S. - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:18
66.6 lifechanging constellations
I want to be a pirate by Pirate
Ghostpirates  by Manbrush T. Wood.
Zombiepirates by Manbrush T. Wood.
Meteors, mindcontrol, mansions

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:18
Divine Patterns by the Gang of Gore

An Army of Darkness reference - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:18
An S-Mart Flier

Genie - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:19
Silence of the Lamps, by Jin

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:19
Divine Diviners by D. Vine

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:20
Magical Letters from the Deep Gut
Flirt with a witch and survive

Edward Laverick - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:20
50 Shades of Octarine
Raising the dead: A popup book
Resurrection by C. Ialis
What to Expect when you're Expectorating
The Joy of Hex
Scouting for Boils
Weegie bored, A guide to Glasgow (Weegie is a slang term for a Glaswegian)
Is your familiar being too familiar?
Functional Invocation in C
Dopplegangers: A self help guide

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:21
C++ Template Metaprogramming

Juan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:21
World of Lovecraft Beginner's Guide.
Neighbours ate my zombies.
“If I`ll do it”, by OJ Simpson.
Mojo and Kazooie.
Mojo at the Dojo.
Love Potion Nº 8, burp.

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:22
Voodoo Dolls: Acupuncture for Dummies

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:10
Get it?

I think maybe it could be named, instead:
Voodoo Dolls, or Acupuncture for Dummies

Gary E - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:22
Gef the talking mongoose
The Dalby Spook
(the above 2 are a real story that also sounds thimbleweed-y!)

Flo - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:23
The Monster Group by Robert Griess
In case you wonder why this title should be expected in an occult book store, just read the corresponding Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_group

Josh - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:23
Doctor Dee and Mister E

Paul Jacobson - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:24
Could we have a whole load of books that are simple titles with one letter that actually spell out something like:

"OUIJA Boards Don't Work"
"Is anybody there?"


Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:27
"Adventure games 1992-2015"
"We can't do this" by Ron Gilbert
"Yes you can" by Arto Vartiainen

Ryan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:27
A Game of Crones

trille - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:29
"How I found a Cup and an Ark"   by   H. Jones

trille - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:40
or maybe just more simplified:

"How I found the Grail and the Ark" by H. Jones jr.
"How to find religious artifacts" by H. Jones jr.

Alejandro - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:30
"How to raise the living by Just Dead"
"The omminocroeN"
"Cthulu where are thou? Easy invoque"
"Follow the light by Joe Electrician"
"Playing with things you shouldn't"
"Obey my bidding by Ron Dead Gilbert"
"White Zombie, Black Zombie"
"Do it yourself. Cast easy curses"
"Is it dead? Learn the differences"
"Live like you mean it by Dead Ted"
"Granpa is that you? Become a medium"
"Become a rare medium!"
"Easy steps to rise from the grave"
"Half life, is it half real? 3rd ed." (see what i did there? Half Life 3?) :D
"Just a shovel. How to rise the dead"
"Voodoo and Juju, what is correct?"
"Become bony. Dieting in afterlife"
"Becoming vegetarian by Vlad Tepes"
"How to use silverware by Wolfman"
"Keep the occult in plain sight"
"Go to hell by Satan"
"How to keep your rags clean"
"Heck this is easy! Hex and curses"
"What the hell? The devil, Biography"
"The ghouls rules book"
"Daemons or Demons? Is the same? NOT
"What the hell? A Satan biography"
"Which craft? Witchcraft!"

scumm_boy - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:31
Monster Manual by G. Gygax

Juan - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:32
The Yummy Mummy.

Josh - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:32
(Thought of an improvement)
Dr. D and Mr. E Go to the Fair

florian c booktian - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:34
Cladicus - How to bury a corpse in 68 parts

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:34
The history of UFOs, Aliens and Crop Circles (and other lies)
Aliens hot secrets (Big Boops and Big Whoops)
The secret of Rendlesham Forest
Rendlesham Forest - Lieutenant Colonels Return
Indiana Jones and the fate of Atlantis
Zak McKracken and the alien Mindbenders
I saw Elvis in my Cup of Coffee
Abduction by aliens (A hot night on Sirius)
Area 51 - The Balloon is back!
Barack Obama and other lizards
Roswell - E.T's Love - Ranch
Betty und Barney Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Alien in the West)
Phoenix Lights - Aliens or LED???
E.T. in Disneyland
E.T. in Hollywood
Alf presents: The best English courts
Alf presents: Cat in Ginger

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:37
E.T.'s breakfast: Crop Circles!

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:58
Monkey Island Cannibals: "Herman Toothroot! Give us back the banana picker!"

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:00
50 shades of Elaine Marley

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:43
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse! *

* reference to the faces (Small Faces - "Itchycoo Park")

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:40
The life and times of Hermann Thootroth

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:46
Random Permutation of  numbers in Lisp (and other tricks to be Edward Snowden)

Peter - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:18
I saw Elvis!

honze - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:36
This sould be somehow readable...

 

honze - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:39
Use unicode text with Bing Translator (Klingon -> English) [Yes, google does not support Klingon]

Tim Wright - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:36
do that voodoo, and do it so well

Thyrisis - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:37
Pratchett's Necrotelicomnicon
Squaring the Pentagram Circle
The Alchemist's Almanac
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Elemental Thelema
Satanism for Beginners
Hidden Symbols in Plain View
Conservative Party Manifesto

Kevin Wallace - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:37
Getting the Ley of the Land
The Household Witch
Crockpots and Cauldrons
Spiritual Jazzercise

Tim - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:38
History of the republican party

Obscure Swiss Myths from the Schöllenen Gorge - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:41
First Over the Devil's Bridge

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:41
Dating the Occultist
666 Portals To Visit
101 Things to Kill Before you Die
Eternity: Keeping Busy
The Sacrificial Popup Book
Puberty and You
50 Festive Pentagrams
This Book Is Cursed
Make That Minotaur your Man
Yoga For Occultists
In-laws: Making an Impression
Getting Familiar with your Familiar
Wake Up to Make Up
Tunes to Rune out to
Getting Possessed For Kicks
Summon your Mum (and other things)
The Making of Thriller
Death Doesn't Have to be the End
150 Banned Spells

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:42
Maintainable Perl Code

Golf by Swami Hollawanda

28@gmail.com - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:43
Famous Polish Vampires

Bjoern - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:44
How to pass the Gatekeeper
My date with Gozer

Uli Kusterer - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:44
Telekinesis: Can't Touch This

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:46
A Chat with Chef Scallion

R. Astley - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:48
Never Gonna Give you Up by R. Astley

Zaskar - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:49
How to properly setup a printer.

maxdibe - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:49
Were-woodchucks chucking wood
WTF - Whitches and Trolls Fans
Parry Hotter (book 5 of 7)
DDDD - Don't Drop Dead Darling
Putting the UN in undead
Buy'n'sell used body parts by Stan
Not the book U-R looking for
Don't read. You did. Did you?
Would you mind reading minds?
ia ia cthulhu fhtagn by H.P.L.
Ja Ja das Chtulhu fhtagnen by Hans
Tempted by the Tentacle
Don't let the Tentacle tempt u
Another one turned to dust
U-turn undead
Aghast! A ghost!
Wherewolf and Whywolf
There-wolf, there-castle by Igor
Abby... Someone
How to choose Schwanzstuckers
Quiet dignity and grace by F.F.
Klaatu, verata... necktie?
Klaatu, verata... nickel?
Klaatu, verata... nectar?
Klaatu, verata... noodle?
Blue pill or red pill?
!!!SPOILER ALERT!!! ...you die
Witchcraft is coming by Ed. Stark
La Divina Commedia
Where is Waldo? In a coffin.
I think therefore I am
I was therefore I rot
Mummifying Mothers-in-law
Never wish for another wish

Damn, I'll spend so much time scrolling through the books.

Arto - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:51
So you are possessed

Philipp - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:52
How to date a mummy by W. Libby (who in real life invented C14 dating).

Dominik - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:53
10 sightings of M. Ferrari

Color Cycling by Ghost-Artist M.F.

The Secret of Fractalus by D. Fox

Perk upgrade & other myths by R. Gilbert

Also: a 3 by 3 grid of books labeld "?". When you click one it switches to "X" and another will switch to "O". This is basically a Tic Tac Toe Mini game hidden in the shelves.

Also: A treasure Hunt: there could by several books pointing to each other:
"2 up, 1 right"
"5 left, 5 down"
Finally you get "And all I got was this lousy book"

maxdibe - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:54
Mixing sputum the right way

Andreas - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:54
Annual Finance Report by Walt Disney
Contract: Selling Monkey Island™ signed by W.D. and R.G.
10: GOTO 10 - Programming for Witches
Angry Nerds
An Adventurer Guide to Point and Hex
How not to breath for 10 Minutes
H.O.N.Z.E - hack on nerd zombies early

TonyVT - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:54
How to import hell in python
How to play chess with Death
W.Vista is written by Satan
Evocate spirits using c++
This is not an occult book
I kissed a ghost and I liked it
Death by Snu Snu
Voodoo & graphic cards

Anthony - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:59
"I Was a Teen Wolf" By Scott Howard
"Area 51 Vacation Homes"
"Pointed Decor" By Vlad the Impaler
"Zombies Ate My Neighbors"  Loved that game!

Tom Koelman - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:59
I Bent My Spoon, Now What?

Tarrkid - Jul 27, 2015 at 13:59
The Scrying Game
Anne of Green Goblins
Cauldron of the Wild
Gone with the Wendigo
Valley of the Voodoo Dolls
The Golem Whisperer

And the one that is far too long, but I present it anyway in case someone can do something better with it...

How to Succeed in Fortune-Telling Without Really Scrying

Dominik - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:00
Vanishing Points by M. Ferrari

sony guy - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:06
VHS is Satanic, by Behtah Maximus

Wouter - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:07
Spelunking by W. Crowther

Natalija - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:08
How to become a mighty pirate,
Programming with Ron Gilbert,
On stranger tides by Tim Powers,
Piracy by Guybrush Threepwood,

Natalija - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:16
And one more book- "The secret of Monkey Island is.."

Paul Carter - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:09
'Dash To The Lavatory" by Will E Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont, Published by Andy Didnt.

edu - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:11
Killed by Death,By Death itself.

Kim Jørgensen - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:12
"Black Nails in the Sunset"
"The Art of Burials"

Phaze - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:12
Guru meditation - a hint book

Rupert9000 - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:12
Crystals & Pistols
Odin's Guide to Parenting
Yggdrasil: Unchained

Matthias B - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:13
Voodoo: Carribean Acupuncture

Runes for Dyslexics

Fashion for the afterlife

These 2 need to be next to each other:

Curing headaches with voodoo,
Causing headaches with voodoo

These 2 also:

Killing Dracula by A. van Helsing,
Killing Jesus by Bill O'Reilly,

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:24
Roons for Dyslexics?

Mischa Magyar - Jul 29, 2015 at 01:49
More like: "Dyslexic for Rons" :-)

Tarrkid - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:13
Rancid Things and their Uses
Balls: From Disco to Crystal
50 Newt-ella Recipes
The Accidental Summoning

Flo - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:16
There is a Spoon by Uri Geller
Fiat Flux by Urinella
Smoking thimbleweed

Mat - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:20
The secret of big whoop by r.g.

Peter Campbell - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:21
The Dead Cat in the Hat by Witchdoctor Seuss (way too many characters?  Nooooooooo!) well then...

The Dead Cat in the Hat

Witchdoctor Seuss' Sleep Book

Everyone Poops: Voodoo Pranks

The Zombie's Guide to Living

The Real Secret of MI by RG & GW

Reanimation for Dummies

The Bank Vault: A Memoriam

Uh Oh!  The Unfortune Teller

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:29
The Cat in the Vat?

Duphus - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:24
The Joy of Hex, obviously!

Connor Mcloud - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:24
The Bible, by God
The Anti-Bible, by Satan

(.)(.) - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:29
"Who wants to live forever" by Connor Macleod

Brian Sterne - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:27
Journey to the Ninth Circle
The Devil's Tapestry
How to Travel the Astral Plane
Makeup Made Easy with Glamours
Dark Secrets of the Caribbean
Business Magic 101 by M. Digle, MBA

Cactus - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:27
Cactus... magic or luck?

friol - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:30
"The Mysteries of HTML5"

Joel Dorsey - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:32
Book of drafts by Brian Moriarty

Peter Campbell - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:33
On a side note: If that's what the Maniac Mansion styled wireframed version of the occult shop looks like, wow I can't wait to see Mark Ferrari's version of it.

Paulup - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:26
I think this is Mark Ferrari's version - I assumed it was the black and white wireframe he does before he adds color to a final version later, but I could be wrong...

Matt J - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:34
Hoof-prints In The Sand, by Baphomet

Miguel - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:37
Divide and Conquer, by Jack the Ripper

Matthias B - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:38
D&D dungeon master's guide

77 uses for umbilical cords

Dead pets - replace or reanimate?

Voodoo on a budget: I Roadkill
Voodoo on a budget: II Rubber Animals

Hexing with Hamsters
Hamsters: the cute alternative

The King James Bible
The Brick Testament
The Holy Quran
The Loose Canon
Adam and Steve

Uli Kusterer - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:26
I *so* want Adam and Steve to be in there now X-D

goodidea82 - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:41
The book about golfing from Zak McKraken. Don't remember the title.

"Laws by Murphy"
"The Thimbleweedguide by R. Gilbert"
"Life is a game by Anderson"
"Our universe is not real by Neo"
"What is reality? by Morpheus"
"Experiments on Squirels by Dracula"
"Phone Book by Telephone Company"
"The Writer by Ghost"
"The Books Catalogue (Library)"

Wayniac - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:54
The book was called "How to Raise Your Consciousness And Lower Your Golf Scores"
Unfortunately that title is a bit long...

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:43
The Bermuda Triangle and Other Paranormal Polygons

Alex - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:48
To Resurrect A Mockingbird (26)

Cannibalism, by Nora Legov (26)

Smothering Wights (17)

Tarot Cards for Fun and Profit (30)

Whittling for Diviners (22)

WOOO and Other Scary Noises (27)

fido - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:48
Black Magic - The Good Parts

fido - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:49
Voynich Manuscript - The Missing Manual

Ost - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:49
101 transubstantiation recipes for vegans.

TacoGrinder - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:49
LeChuck on LeChuck

Where’s Annie? by D. Cooper

The Black Lodge Cookbook

Mastering the Art of French Hexing.

Mommel - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:49
Sonic Seducer
M'era Lunaw
WGT Pfingstbote

oculus rift dk2 manual

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:55
Fitting In: An Extraterrestrial's Guide to Earthling Assimilation

It is pretty dang hard coming up with something clever using only 30-35 characters.  :(

James Siad - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:55
"Bringing Dummies to Life, for Dummies"

James Siad - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:56
Oops completely ignored the character limit

Dan - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:57
Voodoo Doll Acupuncture
The Dark Powers of Electricity
How to Shrink Pixels
Berlin Wall: The End is Near
Meditation: Haste Makes Waste
Mysterious Elixirs: Beer
There Was Snow in her TV
Money Talks
Deregulation of Financial Markets

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:57
I, Warlock by I. Warlock

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:02
Life at the Character Limit by

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:10
oops, I see now that you said we get up to 35 total if we include the author. So how about:

Get Beyond Your Character Limits by

(I know: self-help, not occult. But trust me, the techniques inside are EXTREMELY OCCULT. Raster interrupts etc.)

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:14
Oh, actually you said LESS THAN 35, so maybe you meant only up to 34. Fine, then "Go Beyond" instead of "Get Beyond." Sheesh!

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:50
(But oh god, there's more. Reading your instructions very strictly ("to the letter"), I'm still not within the parameters, because in the whole phrase, the "title" is itself still more than 30. Does that matter? Why did you extend the character limit ONLY in case of author attribution? Are the titles and authors going to be separated somehow? It sure doesn't look like it. Why wouldn't the character limit be the same no matter what? Is it just aesthetic? I don't understand, Ron. I don't understand!)

Meanwhile here are some more titles.

Pyramid Schemes of the Gods?
The Obfuscated Codex
Daemonica Le Winskae
Bestiary Bestiary Everiary
Spellyng Thyngs Wryng

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:07
Crowd Sorcery for Booksellers

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:30
Kinda Recognizing Familiars
How to Pick Your Gnosis
The Rite to Remain Silent
Pixie Hunting by U. Cantby Sirius

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:18
The Nazca Lines Pop-Up Book

James Siad - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:59
Voodoo You Do? Zombie Etiquette

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:59
Your Doppelgänger and You

hoerry - Jul 27, 2015 at 14:59
"Vagina Daemonologie"
"Ghost Station Zebra"
"The Original New Believers"
"The Less than Perfect Matrimony"
"The Kramerian Cosmo-Conception"
"Satanism and World of Warcraft"

Magnus - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:01
How to breed an Orc by Saruman
How to survive without parents by Bambi
Chat with dead lion kings by Mufasa

hippy dave - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:05
Occult or A Cult? by L. R. Hubbard

Matthias B - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:07
Homeopathy by G. Paltrow

Vegan Vodoo I: Rubber Chickens

Voodoo on a budget III: Re-reanimation

Nathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:14
Awesome titles

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:07
Tree levitation for dummies
Sewer smells and their meaning

Jonathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:07
It's Nice To Be Illuminaughty
Necromancing the Bones

Jonathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:12
Whoops, googled "necromancing the bones" and it's already a short story.

Massimo Spiga - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:10
Goetic Beards
The Unspeakable Oath (this is not funny, but a nod to a honored Lovecraftian magazine)
Enoch's Guide to Feng Shui
Women are from Yuggoth, Men are from Qliphoth
Crowley's New Thong

Andy S. - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:10
Loa Back Problems
Mambo #5
Beginning Python
Advanced Shuffling for Zombies
Brains: Brains Brains, Brains?
Zomburritos: A Hex-Mex Cookbook
Save The Newts: Easy Vegan Voodoo
Who Moved My Cursed Cheese?
Voodoo Mail: Correspondence Curses
Bubble Bubble, Toilet Trouble

Algache - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:10
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
(you guys like Gaiman and Pratchett, right?)

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:10
Making Fashionable Tin Foil Hats

Slartibartfast - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:14
R'lyeh Travel Guide by G. Johansen
To Serve Man:Soylent Green Recipies

roccapl - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:17
Compendium on Summoning Salmons
Ringo is Dead by Pete B.
From Accountant to Dragon Tamer
Esoteric Design Patterns
The Medieval Bartender

Matthias B - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:18
The Art of Computer Programming

Jan Hertz - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:19
Pop Records Played Backwards

Niek - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:19
Physiotherapy for astral bodies

X - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:20
Xlib Programming Manual

vanno - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:21
Herbal Charms: Magically Delicious
CloneBeer for Witches: Cursed Kegs
Hell is for Real
7 Habits of Highly Effective Witches
Voodoo: CPR For Dummies
(To try to spice up a commonly found title, here...)

vanno - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:24
Oof, less than 35.  Curse Kegs on the second one then, and Druids on "7 Habits"

Patrik Spacek - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:21

Ron Gilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:22
That's more then 35 characters.

Mahaku - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:21
Klaatu barada neckties by Ash
NecronomiCon 1981 visitors guide
Cama Suit Ra and the Egyptagods
Nutri-Brain: cooking for zombies
Conman's Game of Death
Desecrations, lubrications, incantations
Krakens, drakens and kreatures
Cult followers and social multimedia

Niko B. - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:22
Head shrinking for beginners
101 new uses for frog spawn
Advanced quantum physics
Essential herbs and funghi
Ewige Blumenkraft!
How to hypnotize your toad
The septagram experiment

Max - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:22
99 Meals with Garlic by A V Helsing, next to:
Poisoning First Aid by R M Renfield
The Rossum Guide to Golems
Crystal Skulls: Just Say No
There and Back Again by Orpheus
Building Code for Megaliths
Mysticism and Goats by G Stobbart
Applied Contract Law by Dr. Faust

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:09
"Applied Contract Law by Dr. Faust"... nice one!

Hodge - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:24
Hi Grandma: Beginning Seance
Medium Rare: Food For Spirits
"Which Newt" Magazine #1-#12
Single Mullet Theory
Cauldron Polishing Tips
Hamster Microwave Recipes
Jetpacks! The World Of 2015
Loose Change: On Arcade Games
Cydonia: A Tourist's Guide
Accidental Saviour By T Greenbriar
Hotspot Hunting By J. Kyratzes
Hi-Fi Buyer's Guide 1982-83

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:27
Don't Call Me "Stink Ape"- Sasquatch Have Feelings, Too

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:31
Advanced Exorcisms: Pet Possessions (3rd Edition)

JPB - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:43
The Vein Steward's Handbook

Peter Mons - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:46
"How NOT to pluck a chicken"
By Cassie Role

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:52
Curse without curse words

Barbie's life as a voodoo doll - by Ken

How to break the fourth wall - by Ron Gilbert

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:57
The voodoo of diskette jockey
how to work with diskettes
learning 8bit languages
finding the truth out there
mediations with aliens

LowLevel - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:57
Magic Mushroom Recipes by Tim S.

Kristopher Smith - Jul 27, 2015 at 15:58
"Voodoo Economics"
"Flirting w. the Devil, How to" (would prefer "A How to Guide" but too long :P)
"Vampire Polish Owner's Guide" (for when you want your vampires to sparkle)

Also +1 for Tobin's Spirit Guide if not somehow copyrighted ;)

Kristopher Smith - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:39
One more:
"Invisible Man (Coloring Book)"

Mike - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:02
dPaint Tutorials

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:06

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:04
Tarot cards poker

Pillow making for your coffin

How to join a blood group

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:05
@Ron: There are SO MANY funny jokes... you REALLY should make a spot for each book to cover more then just 100 titles!

If not possible make an easter-egg with one book "portals and how to find them" (or something similar) that opens a secret door and give us a second room with the rest of the funny titles...

But PLEASE dont omit these jokes just because you havent enough space.

Ron Gilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:31
We'll find a way to get all the good ones in, even if there are 500 of them! There is some really funny stuff here. Also some stinkers, but I'm not naming names.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:10
Let Happy Meal be your Last Meal - by McDeath

Why Egypt almost rhymes with crypt

Heaven's phonebook - by Lucidfer

Federico Rocha - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:13
Peek a Boo - The occult in 31 days

Lus - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:13
1. How Woo You Doo? Voodoo Etiquette.

Joe - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:14
NecronomiCOM for Win32

Jaap - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:19
Flippin' the bird by E. Augury
Elevator chants
#000000 magic
Ouija .NET
Familiar problems
My BFF the wand

Dan - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:19
The Truth is in Your Mirror
Get Retarded by Black Eyed P.
Pimples: Hieroglyphics On Skin
Sinister Purge by Ron Zombie
What Halitosis Reveals

Christian - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:20
Final Finality (Part 2)

Christian - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:23
NOO̼O​O NΘ stop the an​*̶͑̾̾​̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨe̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e n​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝

(In case it doesn't display: Lot's of fun is to be had with UTF-8, good luck trying to implement it in your engine...) ;-)

Pertex - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:23
Love Poetry For Hopeless Souls
Suburban Herbs - Toxic But Tasty

Hanon Ondricek - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:24
"Are You There, Dog?  It's Me, Baphomet."

JanW - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:26
Maybe I'm a little late for the varnishing party and the pizza is all gone; but well, here's some more bookpaint:

Oozing ectoplasms easy made

Herbert’s Best Reanimations

E.A. Poe: Eureka: A Prose Poem

Niels - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:27
Rubber Chicken Recipes
LeChucks Book of Grog
The Tentaculum
Murrays Lore of Twilight
How to get to cow level

RCM - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:29
WitchCraft 2
WitchCraft 3
World of WitchCraft
Running WitchCraft into the ground
Enough with the WitchCraft already

Allen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:35
don't forget the popular addendum - WitchCraft 3: Frozen Cauldron

Allen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:35
don't forget the popular addendum - WitchCraft 3: Frozen Cauldron

Ashley B - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:30
How to get ahead in navigating.

Akolade - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:30
A Brief History of Slime

Alien426 - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:31
"Voodoo And Other Accelerator Cards"
"Words" by Klaatu, Barada & Nikto
"Surviving San Diego Necronomicon"
"Pyramid Schemes (For Architects)"
"Papyrus Platypus And Other Origami"
"Voynich Manuscript Walkthrough"
"Diary" by Henry Jones, Sr.

Tristan Stumpp - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:31
Just have a phone number
which works out to "666-Cth-ulhu"

Also bonus idea depending on if you allow people to dial random numbers on the phone close up "room" you could allow people to dial this number. Then have the response on the phone be the famous "ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" in caps.

jokie - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:33
Belzebubian Barnacles

e - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:35
Some obvious ones:

The Scummnomicon

Love Bombs - Do They Really Work?

The Joy of Arexx

Shape-Shifting for Clowns by Pennywise (the obvious Stephen King reference)

Puzzle Cubes for Pinheads (for a Clive Barker reference)

"What is Book?" A Book Locating Guide

Unicorn Healing & Other Horrors

The Shadow out of Last Tuesday

Musical Transmogrification

What's in my Juju Bag?

User Interface Design

Grail Diaries and Other Forgeries

Hi - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:37
Help, I'm Trapped In A Book!

latimer - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:52
Really like that one.

Hanon Ondricek - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:38
"The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."

Jamie - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:40
Geek humor?

Lunar Occultations
Don't Reference Wikipedia...
48 6f 77 20 74 6f 20 48 65 78 21  <-- 'How to Hex!'

Ben - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:41
Oh! Cull t' books.

Long Walk Home by Mr. Bus
Life in the saddle by Major Bumsaw

How I fooled them all by L. Ron Hubbard

The Babe You Were Reminded Of.
(or just a series of books so it reads the whole silly song;)
You remind me of the babe
what babe
the babe with the power
what power
the power of voodoo
who do?
you do
do what?
Remind me of the babe

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:42
Strangulation with cordless phones

Scientomlogy - by Cruise Control

Yes, we cannibal - by Barock Omama

Tim Lammert - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:43
The real advantages of beeing dead  - by Lee Huck
*it´s a pitty, it´s too long*

Ask Bobby by Bobby S.

How to talk to a Skull by Murray

How to talk to dead relatives

using a chainsaw the whole game

Hoerspiegel - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:44
The Blue Crystal Magic Guide
Stonehenge Lightning Experience
Atlantis: Dream of the Dolphin
Microwave Cooking 9: Eggs & Hamsters

Hanon Ondricek - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:44
"The Last Book You'll Ever Read: Volume 2."

Mischa Magyar - Jul 29, 2015 at 02:49
LOL! :-)

stderr - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:45
SCSI Tricks: Sacrificing goats
The Daemon book - A BSD manual
Spawning daemons with fork()
Resurrecting dead code
Principles of Compiler Design
666 MIT-MAGIC-COOKIE-1 recipes
Chip designs using magic smoke
256 magic numbers for the C=64
0xDEADBEEF other magic numbers
Robes and wizard hats by Bloodninja
The definitive guide to AGI
The King's Quest 3 spell book
"xyzzy" and other magic words
The complete maps of R'lyeh
So you want to summon Cthulhu…
The 1984 R'lyehian Phone book
The Cthulhu pixie book
Are you there FSM? It's me Ron
Invisible Pink Unicorn photos
Rare misprinted Santanic Bible

Thomas - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:46
How about some x-files references?

"The Truth is Out There by Fox M." (32 chars)

Allen - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:46
Magic Wand Owners Manual by Hitachi

Uli Kusterer - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:40
That's probably the best way to get an off-color joke past the censors ;-)

Dan - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:46
How To Listen To Hell's Bells
Adventure Games - The Truth

Jens Restemeier - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:47
"Tax Law for Beginners"
"The A-Z of Occult Symbols"

EdoBvD - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:52
Knowledge of the Hidden by T. Luco
Inside a Maniac's Head by S. Pantz
Decaying in Jail by S. K. Letton
Memoirs by P. Meteor
Publish Anything by M. Eteer
Complicated Tentacles by T. Green
Fun Experiments with Hamsters
Maintain your Fuel-less Chainsaw

All books above published by "3 guys who publish anything, Inc."

klark vain - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:56
Hitler died in 1952
Roswell and Opus Dei
Stonehenge: Monument or spaceport?
The secret of the hollow earth
Free mason knitting
Three mile island and UFO's
Colonel Sanders and the bildeberg group

klark vain - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:01
Waterloo - inside job?
Tungusta - meteor or giant cupcake.

Uli Kusterer - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:42
Are those serious choices with a typo, or am I not getting the difference between Tunguska and Tungusta? Anyway, still good :-)

mario - Jul 27, 2015 at 16:59
Using the Schwartz by Mel Books
Money Pit Escape by Tom Cranks
Wooden Voodoo Doodle by Carpenter
Prescriptions Templates
MM Walk-Thru Guide
100 ways to kill Mutant-Squirrels
Wicked Harassments by Panda

RCM - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:01
Gnik Sisi Vle & Other Spells

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:02
Stoner's guide to Stonehenge

How to predict lottery winners

Faster than light - by E.T.'s unsatisfied wife

Matt Tuttle - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:02
Magical Mistakes by Frog Prince
The Spellcaster Safety Manual
Practical Potion Making
Cauldron Cleaning Tips
Cooking Newts for Two
A Warlock and Key
Magical Item Storage Safety
Proper Cackling Technique
Mystical Mumbo Jumbo
Which is Witch? by Ms. Spell

Matt Tuttle - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:03
A few more.

Runes and Other Hidden Gems
Raising Hellions
Going Left is Right by A Miss
Conjuring Your Inner Spirit
Familiar Faces

Rob Osinga - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:03
"Keep your bones crossed" By Murray.
"Breathing control techniques"
"Enchanted pirates and loot"

Mahaku - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:06
Blood: uses in magic and sausage
Yogi werebear and friends
Poltergeist home improvement
Enchanting for fun and profit
Hex-ups: O brother, where art thou?
Weight watchers by R. Summons

Adrian C. - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:06
Maybe one of my father books, they are in Spanish :-D:

Consuelo el espiritista by Ramon Cerda

Santiago Lema - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:09
Spells of Innocence
by U2

(Obviously a bundled book in the library)

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:12
Reflections on Regurgitation
Medieval Robot Devils
Evil Crochet
Demented Drawings (of cats)
Pass the Clumps
Tax for Taxidermists
Lobotomising your Neighbour
Tales from the Bog
Famous Beards of the Undead
Afterlife Dinner Etiquette
Exhumed and Underpaid
Witches Gone Wild
Possesion for Kids
None More Black
Nuns: God's Henchwomen
Eat Yourself Thin
Neverworlde Scrabble Tips


Boomer - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:12
Bible black

Jens - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:13
"Cheer up your mother in law"

Arne Lyngsfjord - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:17
"Anti-obesity chants"

Natalija - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:21
Why does your book("How to put a pulley in rubber chicken") has more than 30 characters? Our books must have less than 30..

Ron Gilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:23
35 characters. Plus, it's a little fuzzy due to proportional spacing. The title can be longer if there are lots of i's.

7th Guest - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:05
Shi gipsi, slili, sprili, trist bi mi cript

Ashley B - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:22
So, you're a zombie AND vegan?
Obamacare for witch doctors
Don't kick my crystall balls
Creating Fractals for evil
Repentagrams by N.Flanders
The 'Sigh' Chick hotline
'Sage' advice: Take Thyme out
Oui Ouija: Being dead & French
Lonely Planet guide to Hades
Scooby Voodoo
Cancer: The Sick Star Sign
We bought a Zoodiac
George's Marvellous Medicine
Prismers of the Sun

kiwi - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:42
good stuff!

Ashley B - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:28
Thanks fellow Kiwi :)

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:14
Scooby Voodoo is funny and appropriate considering Scooby encountered ghosts.

Mahaku - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:23
Dine in style: Nessie soup & yeti ham
Cannibalism: theory and practice
Herding knights & other dragon food

Akolade - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:24
101 Astral Planes You Must Visit While You Die

Akolade - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:29
Whoops that was too long. Shorter:
9 Astral Planes To See While You Die

(Ok that's 37... This is hard)

slug45 - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:24

Valkyrie - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:27
Basketry for the Hell-Bound
Hex Better w/ One Weird Trick
Helter Skeleton by the Beetles
A Ghast From the Past

kids' section:

If you Give a Witch a Cookie
The Paranormal ABCs
My First Resurrection

some that are too long:

What to Expect when you're Hexpecting
Wizards and Devils and Voodoo, Oh My!

Marcel Rohles - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:32
Ecretso for Onkeymu Slandip
Aged techniques: Code Wheels

Deanobob - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:32
Why Adventure Games Suck by Ron Gilbert - more than 35 characters though!

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:19
I suppose we could just leave it at "Why Adventure Games Suck".

I don't think the "by Ron Gilbert" will make people get the reference, if they hadn't already.

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:38
Dragons in Drag
Eat Yourself Dead
Elvis ate my Zombie
Cooking for Pricks
The Misunderstood Mentalist
Ironmongery for Bats
Smile like you're Dead
Sing when you're Dead
Army of Bees
Spruce up that Tomb!
Festive Freaks
Urn your Rest
Macabre Knitting Patterns
TV Guide
Undercover Underworlde
The Very Hungry Caterkilla
50 Uses for Unexpected Juices

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:38
Silly walking dead - by John Cleese

The Hamster's revenge - by Micromanagement

Poletergeist dancing - by The Sexorcist

Wilbert - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:40
Killing Harmlessly
Why Books Explode (Don’t Open)
How to Exterminate Thimbleweed
Potions Kill People!
How Voo You Doo?
Deadly Potions Without Aftertaste
Eye for Tooth Spells Gone Wrong
Pride and Prejudice and Exorcism
Doovoo for Dyslexics

Allen - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:42
Pages Against Humanity
Exploding Kittens Strategy Guide
Kickstarter Terms and Conditions

Mr. Microscope - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:47
MicroNecronomics: SCAREcity
MacroNecronomics: Too Dead to Fail
I Cannibal, So Can You! -L.H.
Herbaceous Herbs: Magic with Stank
Dead Parent's Waiting Room -G.P.L.
Better Homes and Graveyards

Rum Rogers - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:50
P and NP: the secret of (in)equality

Allen - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:53
Parry Hotter and the Spast Loonerism

Sascha - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:55
iWitch by S. Jobs
Plunder Island: Herbs & Roots
Tentacle Sex Secrets
How to misuse microwaves
Witches do it in circles
The Z-Files
Suck my crystal balls
My Mojo by M. Myers
Guru Meditation by A. Miga
Carving your own coffin
The Evil Dead Companion
MS Exchange: THIS is Voodoo
Voodoo++ for dummies

Looking forward to a great game. Hope to hear from it, when its ready.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:12
I really like "Witches do it in circles"! :-) I hope it will be in the game!

Mr. Microscope - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:57
Lovebombs and other Unused Items
I Was an Undead Teenage Lobot -R.G.

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:57
When Ghouls Attack!
The Day of the Zombie Bastards
My Holiday with Death
Mandy and the Mutants
Summer Swamp Styles
Life's Better When You're Deader
Why Won't he Posses me!

Ashley B - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:57
Debunking the great pumpkin
Dreams From My Father
Understanding Slimer
Ectoplasm Soup for the Soul
Pain in the necromancy
Twinings & Tasseomancy
Octarine paint by numbers
Pundead and other bad jokes
Phrenology in Braille
Chilli induced visions.
How cheese affects your dreams

The Great Pumpkin is from Peanuts (Aka Snoopy)
Dreams from my father is Obama's book
Slimer is the ghost from Ghostbusters
Tasseomancy is the fancy word for Tea Leaf Reading
Octarine is the Colour of Magic in Discworld

Tom Noir - Jul 27, 2015 at 17:59
"The Girl With The Henna Tattoo"

Tom Noir - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:03
Crystals and Shit

mr. T - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:03
Ghost Busting for Beginners
The Nine Gates by Torchia
Delicatessen by H.Lecter
Tune your Chrysler into Christine
The basics of Moon Base Building
Gorgeous Pet Semataries
Initiation into Psychic Karate
Broomstick Carving with Kate

Iron Curtain - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:06
How to divine the Altair 8800

Tom Noir - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:09
Spelling "Magick" The Right Way

Iron Curtain - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:10
MacroNecronomics: Supply and the Damned // Too much of a stretch?

Gavin - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:11
Gluten-Free Vampirism
How to Avoid Huge Sticks
Re-reusing Old Graves
Everything I Want to Do is Unholy
Mommy's a Witch Because You're Bad
Does Satan Ever Speak Through Cats?
Are You There, Satan?  It's Me, Margaret
Demonology for Dummies
Hieroglyphics for Mummies

Gins - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:12
I See Dead People - A Dating Guide
VCR Instruction Manual
Dead Soviets See Me
Original Italian Eyes Cream Recipes
WinRAR Business Plan
Death Note (if there are no copyright problems)

Might come up with some more tomorrow.

Gins - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:36
Not to forget, as stated in Rule #1:

Less Than 35 Characters


Tom Braun - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:20
Monoliths and Mayhem
So You Think You Can Trance
Like A Faust: Rexamining A Legend
Twelve Days To Slimmer Thighs
Wards: What Are They Good For?

Er, I posted my earlier entries under 'Tom Noir'. That should be 'Tom Braun'. Old internet habit. *blushes*

Steffen - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:22
Finding chain saw fuel easily.
Managing ScummVM

@Ron: Btw... Do you have contact to the guys of ScummVM? Are there plans to extend ScummVM with your changed version of Squirrel (you mentioned something of changes to the Squirrel compiler here: http://blog.thimbleweedpark.com/scrolling_rooms)??


Laserschwert - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:23
The death and resurrection of adventure games

Tomimt - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:23
Dinner for Ghouls
How to raise dead and other party tricks
A brief guid to ghostbusting
1...2....3... posession
exorcism do's and don'ts
Where's that safe key again?
Spiritual guide for pets
Not with my baby By Rosemary
So you're dead, now what?
History of Lucasarts
Ghost the movie
The only real book about occult
Pigeons from Hell
Rickroll the dead

Tomimt - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:18
A couple more:

Hexes for Ex's
The Dark Force by D. Vader
It was broken when I got here
Occult furnishing guide
iä iä cthulhu fhtagn
Repo Man
Occult poker guide
Spirit guides and bathroom privacy
Don't talk to me like I'm dead
Ghosts and Goblins
I married a ghost
Ouija for the whole family

Tomimt - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:10
And a little more:

The Waltzing dead
UFO or a ghost
Where's my train?
Walking to afterlife
Yard gargoyles
Gnomes gone wild
How to win the lottery
Voodoo for gamblers

Tom Braun - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:24
Some "serious" book titles for the occult shelves:

Babylonian Astrology And You
Guide To The Astrological Houses
Seeing With Your Inner Eye
Cooking With Horoscopes
Healing Power of the Planets
The Heavenly Spheres
The Quotable Capricorn
Stargazer's Secrets
Freemasonry Decoded
Portals of Chaos
Esoterica and Iconography
Salomonic Magical Arts
The Book of Whyte Magicka
Guide To Occult London

Dan - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:31
Beautiful Mermaid Sightings
The Nose, Your Third Eye
Evil Weapons Against The Evil

JiFish - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:34
Hogwarts: A History
Ji Jyske's Jealousness Jinxes
Modern Masters of Magic

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:39
My Other Dog is also Dead
Autopsies Uncut
Hacking into Heaven
Turn Up the DOOM!
Ouch, They're My Mandibles
Spice Up Your Death
Eat your Friends
Can't Stop Coffin
Tindering the Dead

Tom Braun - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:39
UFOs, Nazis, & the CIA: A Cookbook
Did Aliens Build The Sears Tower?
Sparkle No More: Vampire Depression
UFOs: Can They See Me Naked?
Chemtrails: When Aliens Fart

Davide - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:41
- "40 shades of sway"
- "Helvetica for Propaganda"
- "The book of lost socks"
- "Charts and Diagrams 101"
- "Why develop a game in Haskell"
- "Breaking Standards, a retrospective"
- "Reading future from summonses"
- "Traffic roundabout for dummies"

Keith McCrory - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:44
Types of Fox Molds by Donna Skully

Mikiee - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:46
OUCH by Holding Wand Backwards
Playing with Dolls - Best Practices
Driving a Stick: A Witch’s Guide

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:51
Possessing the Unpossessible
Hell: The Floorplan
Sheets of Rage
Tools for Ghouls
Transmogrify your Gran
Victorian Drawers of Perception
Tickling the Annubis
Ghost F**kers

Sascha - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:52
01001101: Binary Spells
Why Garlic Makes You Lonely
DIY Turn Lead Into Gold
20 Richness Spells by 50Cent
Smurfs are real! by Gargamel

nico - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:53

RCM - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:55
Good Military Shooters and Other Mythical Creatures
Avoiding Lawsuits by Indiana Smith
Puzzle Dependency Charts 101

RCM - Jul 27, 2015 at 18:59
Why Everything Looks Like 1992 when it's 1987 ;)

doglobster - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:08
Ok I'm done - and it's midnight where I am! Thanks for giving me a lot of fun Ron!

If none of the following get into the game I'll be officially opening my own occult book shop just to make it happen!

Famous Beards of the Undead
Exhumed and Underpaid
Witches Gone Wild

Gdnight all...

klaude the druggie - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:11
The Top Secret Truth About Cyborg Hitler
Bigfoot v man: true interracial love
Lemuria: what the world government hides
The commie-republican conspiracy
Elvis Lives - on the secret moon colonies!
Space reptiles killed JFK!
Ronnie is a Commie!

klaude the druggie - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:22
Why Aliens must be commies, by Alex Jones
Lost recipes of the Inca Kitchen
The Face on Mars - communist awareness
Cola is a Communist Conspiracy

klaude the druggie - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:31
The Bronze age didn't happen - Commie Conspiracy!
The world is flat  - with proof!

Yachmenev - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:18
Taming Qthulu - A Beginners Guide

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:22
Bible fanfiction

Movies based on books

Occultivate yourself

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:24
Biblical fanfiction

Ashley B - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:50
I find this one very funny.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:02
Thank you, Ashley Best! :-)

Andreas - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:23
Dark Lord in 66 steps or less!
Your mysterious dark side and you
Partial Transfiguration by HJPEV
Mummification for Mummies
1001 graveyards before you die
The Free Software Manifest by RMS
Git: A practitioners guide
Advanced Dowsing
Fireflies: Myth or Reality?
How to summon a daemon (I)
How to release a daemon (II)
How to defeat a daemon (III)
How to defeat a daemon army (IV)
How to end daemoncalypse (V)

fake ronsld reagan - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:36
The Computer: A Communist Conspiracy

Christian - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:38
Color therapy - re-color your soul
Herbal perfumes for beginners
50 shades of crow
6 crow feet & 9 pig toes - the guide

Michael - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:50
Things that belong in Museums
Handbook for the Recently Diseased
Blind Third Eye and other Occult Music

grant - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:51
Pearl Harbor: IT WAS THE FRENCH!
Why the VCR will make you homosexual!

grant - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:05
Secrets of Mars, by Z. Mckracken
The Soviet Union - why they will win this Cold War
Gravity is a lie!

Sebastian - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:51
Pyramids: Possible Without Help from Egiptians? (by Slartibartfast)
Cthulhu is dead

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:55
"DAMMIT IM MAD' mirror spells
Proper Potions by Wyatt Burns

PhilD - Jul 27, 2015 at 19:58
The Care and Feeding of Golems
DIY: Replacing Limbs w/Power Tools
Flayed Skin Origami
His Baby & You by R. Woodhouse
How to Build Your Own Zombie!
Dieting Tips by Slender Man
Express Yourself w/ Dead Chickens
Childcare for New Mummies
Handbook for the Recently Diseased
The DMV and the Living Dead
So You're Dating A Homunculus

Sascha - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:00
Pirelli Calendar: Hot Brooms
How to epilate your hoofs

Andy - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:01
Teeth Clapping by Shivermy Timbers

Golio - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:17

Paulup - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:19
Tinker Tailor Soldier Witchdoctor
The Very Accursed Caterpillar
Rich Dad, Voodoo Dad
The Dark Pixel Arts
Great Hexpectations
Who Moved My Voodoo Dolls?
How to Curse Friends and Beguile People

Chris Armstrong - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:20
Auntie's Inferno
The Fine Comedy
The Satanic Purses

Eric - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:20
3.5" Floppy Loading Time Fillers

Eric - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:23
Actually that should've said "5.1" Floppy Loading Time Fillers"

Mischa Magyar - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:23
Shouldn't it be
5,25" Floppy Loading Time Fillers
? :-)

longuist - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:20
Entropy of Skeleton Dancing Steps
Decapitation healing primer
Vegan sacrificial offering 101
How to re-moisture dried innards
Meteor Hot Stone Recipes
Advanced Sacrificing for Kids
Chainsaw Instruction Manual
Reuse sacrificed cats by Alf Tanner
Basement sized nuclear power plants
Burning witch screams audiobook
Famous Tyrants in Fine Leather Jackets
Origami Voodoo Doll Folding
Wiring of Red Buttons
Initiation Rites for Dummies

Hypra Load by Schneider & Schramm
How to use a disk notcher vol 3

How to ignore instructions, mainly regarding but not limited to limited text length

Daniel - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:23
Making zombies via AOL (with CD)

Peter Campbell - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:29
Remember though that this game takes place in 1987

Kirk - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:28
Dungeons and Drakes Players Guide

Eric - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:30
“So You Fight Like a Cow, Now What?.”
"Are You Sure You Want to Win?"
"The Secret of A Monkey & An Island."

Eric - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:32
"Three Heads, One Monkey"

glenfx - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:34
.-"Hello World!" for dummies
.-Memoirs inside a coffin - by Stan
.-How I survived inside a coffin - by Stan
.-How to tease Death by Bill &Ted
.-THE secret of Monkey Island
.-Mix 'N' Mojo Voodoo recipes

Dulp - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:36
Demonic Portals: A Practical Guide

edit - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:42
Music of the Spheres
The Fractal I/Eye
Celestial and Human Cycles
Meaning of Angles/Angels
Vortices of Perception
Metaphysics and Procedural Geometry

kirk - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:42
Undead Animal Farm

Eric - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:48
"Hamsters and Microwaves."
"GT & The Suction Cups Discography"
"Gas Cans and Other Lost Items"
"Tuna Head and Other Insults"

Ted - Jul 27, 2015 at 20:51
Feeding Agrippa's Black Dog
Kabbalah of Knots and Hitches
Take the Secret Chiefs Bowling
Spells for Young Elves
My Two Daimons
Everybody Loves Raphael
Mystic Rhythm Sections
Voodoo for Dunces
Babalon Five-Oh
Dope by Paschal Beverly Randolph
Fairy Dust Sudoku
Subterranean Hedge Mage Blues
Dianetics for Pirates
Blasphemy for Fun and Profit
Ceremonial Magick at the Movies
Where's Hermes Trismegistus?

Gorf - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:02
Poltergeist or Polterguest?
How to Bewitch Your Pet in 7 Days

Michel - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:06
The plottergeist and the Invisible ink

Freeman - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:18
Transcendental Magic by E. Lévi
Three Books of Occult Philosophy
Clavicula Solomonis
Christian Astrology
Book Four
The Magical Qabalah
Cabalistic Encyclopedia
The Complete Magician’s Tables
The Treasure of Alexander
Voudon Gnostic Workbook
Celestial Magic
Corpus Hermeticum
De Mysteriis
De Vita Libri Tres Marsilii Ficini
De Umbris Idearum
Oration on the Dignity of Man
Sepher Yetzirah
The Zohar
Condensed Chaos
Real Magic

socoolman - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:21
The Soundless Sound

All the Light We Cannot See

Summon the Magic Recipe

Protocols of the 5th Dimension

Extraordinary Knowing

The Magus of Strovolos

The Golden Bough

Akolade - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:43
Kool Kurses For Kids
Do-it-Yourself Wand Repair
Throwing Your First Seance Party
Satans Brother Sal: The Untold Story
7 Pointed Stars: Believe The Hype

Matt Lacey - Jul 27, 2015 at 21:55
The Black Art of Debugging Games

Michael Stum - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:00
To Serve Man
Eye of the Tiger
Understanding Women, A Guide
Blue Crystals for dummies
The Science of Chrono Trigger
Sports Almanach 1955-2015
Manny's Guide to the Afterlife

Michael Stum - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:06
Programming the Playstation 3
Writing Multithreaded Programs
How to win at Arika's Tetris
Write Once, Run Anywhere

Alex Segal - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:07
Windows for Mummies

Keith hughes - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:17
50 shades of black

Maxwell Yezpitelok - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:19
Timmy Smith and the Regular Rock
Timmy Smith and the Amazon Order
Timmy Smith and the Chamber
Timmy Smith Book 5: Driver's Ed

Nathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:22
How To Get A Head In Navigation

Alex - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:25
The secret of monkey island

Mike K - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:49
Love Potion #11 by Nigel Tufnel
2015 Cauldron Digest (change year to fit Thimbleweed Park timeline)
Speedy Hexes for Moms on the Go
Safely Reverse the KcUhcel Curse
Tin Foil Origami Vol 1
Tin Foil Origami Vol 2
Tin Foil Origami Vol 4
Tin Foil Origami Vol 5
Ouija Hacks: Planchette Jailbreak
The 60Hz Hum by Francis Z McKracken

Nathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:51
A Llama's Tail

Alessander - Jul 27, 2015 at 22:54
Spells, charms & gibberish
Please set me free from this book
Cooking Cockroach Cookies
Making Of Thimbleweed Park
Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find'em
Thimbleweed Park, a History
Where's Zombie Wally?
Asterix, the zombie
How to pretend you're alive
Self Help with Voodoo
The rise and fall of Ron Gilbert
Ron Gilbert's unauthorized autobiography (40 characters)

vsc - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:19
Unlocking the 10th verb
How to treat moonburnt skin

longuist - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:14
teh heh giggle

Nathan - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:23
Quantum Kettles/Multi State Potions

Elchapucero - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:40
How aliens harmed archeology. by Dr. Jones

Elchapucero - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:41
Three headed monkeys jedi tricks.

indyrhett - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:49
Magick Without Autocorrect

indyrhett - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:51
Sexual Magick Healing by Gaye

elchapucero - Jul 27, 2015 at 23:54
Occultus Rift : futur never comes

McP - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:05
Great Irish Parks by Patrick O'Cult
Occult 45: Does it Every Time

Yuri - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:09
Wooing Voodoo Ladies by C. de Cava
How to Ruin a Wedding by G.Th.
Raising LucasArts from the Dead
The Art of Swan Transfiguration
Voodoo Kickstarting for Beginners

Pablo - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:11
100 spells you can do with your own blood if you´re a virgin
How to raise the antichrist without dying in the attempt
Necronomicon for dummies
Homunculus linguistics
Fun tentacles styles for gods of the new era
Wish theory: asking for more wishes
Grow your own goronbonzia!
How to make glasses for people with shrinked heads
I was a teenage Lobot
History book by Cagliostro

Harold - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:12
The cryptozoologist's field handbook

felipe - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:18
Grog recipes AS SEEN ON TV

Lautaro - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:20
DOOM: Cheat codes
1001 dates for the apocalypse

Zombocast - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:29
The Who's Who of Voodoo
How to practice Safe Hex
Don't catch a cauldron
Occult Classic Films
Mummy and daddy
Incents and Insects
Wicca pedia
Wicca leaks

Yoshimoto - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:38
Mystical Trials by Mêlée Occult COUN
Hogwarts Entrance Guide
Let It Go by Voodoo Priestess
Look Behind You, A Practical Guide For the 3rd Eye

Necklaces & Earrings Guide for Occult
Dream Catcher 101
The Mysteries of Bawaajige Nagwaagan
Power & Wisdom Colouring Book

Badjock - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:40
Why vampires sucks?

Matt - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:51
Sams Teach Yourself Voodoo In 21 Days

falcocerr - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:58
Voodoo for dummies
Honey I shrunk the kids heads
Hitchhickers guide for walking dead
Ghost dogs and rubber chickens
Live and let die by Captain Barbosa

KamiKasi - Jul 28, 2015 at 00:59
Magic for Dummies by Parry Hotter

RichardC - Jul 28, 2015 at 01:19
Dummies for Voodoo

Mark Pollock - Jul 28, 2015 at 01:23
Is Your Underwear Haunted?
Past Lives of Hamsters
Making BBQ With Satan
How To Summon More Than Your Courage
Read This Book Before It Reads You
The Sunday School Lessons of H. P. Lovecraft

Jaap - Jul 28, 2015 at 01:37
Satanic beading
Esotericism for everybody
Nintendo Power vol 13.
Salem town guide

Timo - Jul 28, 2015 at 01:38
The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer
Advanced Palette Shifting Techniques
Agile Estimating and Planning
The Split Saber by Lancaster Dodd
Gödel, Escher, Bach
Timaeus by Plato
Programming in Emacs Lisp
GNU Emacs Manual
The C++ Programming Language
How to Win Friends and Influence People (37)
Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution

AK - Jul 28, 2015 at 01:54
Guide to Unix Daemons

Ciantic - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:01
"How To Sell", by Stan (originally intended in for a different bookstore, but the owner thought it fits here perfectly for some reason)

Though, I don't think Occult room fits in the murder mystery game. It would be better suited in a fantasy game like MI.

mario - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:01
Blank Toilet Paper on 666 pages

Timo - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:01
The Black Lodge Travel Guide
The Black Lodge on a Budget
Making the most of the Black Lodge
The Black Lodge: Sights & Nightlife

Matthias - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:02
Fighting Comment SPAM Daemons
Seckrit Digits Explained

f45t - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:06
Inside Loom by Webers B Threadbare

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:16
Haunted Housing - a market study
Grog Masters of the Caribbean
Decomposing funeral music
Procrastinating immortality
Law review: Patenting potions
Sue me: needlework for undertakers
Vision and magical leadership

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:21
Haunted howtos and magical malware

Daddldiddl - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:23
Soups - use more than bones

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:23
Hell's kitchen gourmet guide

BamBam2707 - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:28
Voodoo Hobo - My life after the fame by Chucky
Make-up 101 - How to hide vampire glitter
Afterlife for Dummies
Tooth Files - The Ultimate Guide
The history of grog and its ingredients
50 Shades Of Voodoo

Davin - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:32
Growth Hacking for Mediums
The Devil's Bargain by Imas Tillalive
What is your Soul Really Worth?
The Bermuda Triangle for Free Spirits
50 Ways to Leave your Dimension
Immortality for Dummies
Successful Seances by R.U.Thayer
My Year in Limbo by Reilly Stuckere

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:39
Pushing daisies: fertilizing tips
My haunted memories by C. LeChuck
The good, the Bad and the Evil
Voodoo: corporate management guide
Connect the dots: pentagrams
Hex and The City
Mars resorts for witches

Erkki - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:40
Bustin' Makes You Feel Good by G.B.

Preservation of Triceratops Tears

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:42
The mythical man-month
Kickstarting incantations

Nick Tashiro - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:42
1) To Reanimate a Mockingbird
2) A Brief History of Slime
3) Chicken Soup for the Soul Sucker
4) Economy of Scales
5) Possession: 9/10 of the Fun
6) Our Broomsticks, Ourselves
7) I, Warlock
8) Blood Ritual: Childcare Made Simple
9) Cannibals Eat People Too
10) Bat Fancy

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:45
Fierce fairies (and other kinks)

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:49
Undead Casanova: infinite infidelity

Mahaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:51
Wart Games for witches

Maakster - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:52
How to avoid april fools day

David - Jul 28, 2015 at 02:52
Understanding your inner demon by Psychological Limited
Harrasment between succubi: how to dealt with it

Diduz - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:02
The Flabbergasting Shrine

Sven - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:04
"The Tripods" from John Christopher.

Will Jane - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:06
If she's possessed is it incest
Escape from hell - A practical guide
How to smell the devil

larsen - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:07
"Shub-Niggurath and other recipes"

Skeptic - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:15
"The Spell-in-book: Dyslexia and Enchanting"
"The mysteries of clothes: why ghost are never naked?"
"Bermuda Triangle Travel Guide"
"How to Cheat in Tarot: playing your cards right"
"Handbook for the recently lost souls"
"Scare the fat diet: Beetle juice three times a day!"
"The Necro-comicon for Groovies"
"Homer's guide to the 3rd Dimension" (by H. Simpson)
"Maniacal Manson and the Pray of the Pentacle"
"Secrets of the Island Monkeys"
"Karma-sutra, illustrated"
"Dante's travel: there and back again!"

Skeptic - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:07
"How to be an enchanting woman, instead of a simple witch"

Skeptic - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:04
Some fixes & improvements (per rule #1 and inspiration from other titles)
"Spell-in-book: dyslexia edition"
"Fabric mysteries: why ghosts ain't naked"
"Tarot cheating: play your card right"
"Handbook for the recent departed"
"Scare fat away: beetle juice thrice a day!"
"Maniacal Manson"
"Pray of the Pentacle"
"Dante's travel: dead and back again!"
"Manners: From witch to enchanting lady"
"Mortal Questions"
"Who led the ghosts out?!"
"Crows before Snow" by Olly BackStabber

Skeptic - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:28
"Necronomics: Death and Taxes"
"How to make Death not a Dead End"

Skeptic - Jul 29, 2015 at 19:10
"Possession! Funniest Voices from Beyond"
"Exorcism-In-Use 1: Exteme Constipation"
"Exorcism-In-Use 2:  Spiritual Abortion"
"Exorcism-In-Use 2:  The Mother-in-Law"
"Oxford Studies in Reversed Exorsism"
"Oxford Studies in Reversed Possession"
"Necromancy: Animate the Party" ("Necromancy: Be the Life of the Party")
"The Price is Right: Soul-Selling Edition"

Skeptic - Jul 29, 2015 at 19:26
"Ouija Funniest Prank Calls"

Skeptic - Jul 29, 2015 at 22:49
"Spamming with Titles: Annoying Edition"
"Are you really gonna read all these titles?"
"Titles, Titles everywhere"
"Reading Titles: The Never-Ending Quest"
"The Title Conquest Nightmare"
"The Title Conquest Nightmare"
"Titles, Titles and guess what...more Titles"

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:58
Karma Sutra is a good idea. :-)

Guy de Buille - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:19
How Not To Be Seen, by M. Python

Tobias - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:30
Some for the novel rack, foreign category:

“Hexen hexen (ungekürzte Fassung)” [German version of “The witches” by Roald Dahl from 1983; literally: “Witches practice witchcraft (unabridged version)”]

“Die kleine Hexe” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; literally: “The little witch”]

“Das kleine Gespenst” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; literally: “The little ghost”]

“Krabat” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; published in English as “The satanic mill”]

The German books may (also) be usable for the translated version… Boris, are you reading?

(.)(.) - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:34
"Du Essen Die Scheisse"

(.)(.) - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:35
that is foreign titles are fun. Making them dirty is more fun i think

Flowo1974 - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:52
That is RUDE, dude!

(.)(.) - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:04
I know. I wish I could delete that comment. But being an alcoholic does have disadvantages. Quite many actually.

Mahaku - Jul 29, 2015 at 23:32
...and grammatically incorrect!!!11

a kah sut @ - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:31
How I fell in love with a spider, by Arak De Fopia

a ka sut @ - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:37
The Terrible Werespider of Æblerød

peterszky - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:34
Why did the chicken cross the road?

peterszky - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:48
Stan's Previously Owned Curses

ixsi - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:42
Mastering the Art of Death

Natalija - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:47
Is there any way you could put our names in these books? eg. "Name of the book" by Natalija R (my name) .

Bosbeetle - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:48
Enlightening the unenlightened
Extinguishing the Enlightened

Alain Bellenger - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:48
it's a kind of magic by F. Mercury
voodoo with fried chicken
voodoo and chicken, a love story
how to combine voodoo and barbecue
voodoo BBQ: join pleasant & useful
phone numbers starting with 666
smileys on ouija boards
explaining black magic to kids
to be or not to be dead
how to leave your body by Bye
the little book of demons
hey what a weird thing
from poker to tarot
magic the gathering

Raphaël C. - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:55
"How Do Voodoo"

Tobias - Jul 28, 2015 at 03:56
Computer games, also usually found in bookstores:
Day of the Tantalus
Duke Spook ’em
Leisure Dress Fairy
Weather Goddesses of Phobos
Penultima: Purgatory
Summoner Games

Tobias - Jul 31, 2015 at 05:19
Obviously, “Day of the Pentacle” would be the better option.

The reason I didn’t come up with this before is that I am not a native speaker and have only heard of “pentagram”.

Niko B. - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:00
The Final Act by H. Toothrot
Whipping Blood Cults by H. Jones Jr.
Principia Discordia

and some alliterations:

Charming Chants
Deadly Dances
Seriously Sinister Serums
Potentially Poisonous Potions
Totally Trivial Tinctures

ixsi - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:01
Back to the Future - A trip abroad
English-Latin Dictionary

brug0r - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:04
Walkthrough - Thimbleweedark

(as an homage to the "Instand Videos" in Spacesballs the movie  :)

brug0r - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:14
"Walkthrough - Thimbleweedpark"

doglobster - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:21
4000 Years Old and Fabulous
Hairstyles of the Luftwaffe
Filthy Rich and Terribly Dead
Occult Origami Occasions
Varnishing your Face
Gardening for Freaks
Richard Simmons: Jazzercise
Undead High: Startling Prof. Bones
Undead High: Spring Break
Undead High: Schools Terminated
Love in the Afterlife
Shirley Temples of Doom
Holidaying in Hades

KKAABRO - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:25
"Build a Voodoo Love Doll"
"How to handle a stick"
"Probeing Uranus by A. Lien"

Fester S. - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:40
A side note to Ron, Gary and David: Please do not use book titles which refer to something contemporary which will be forgotten in 5 years. This game should be a timeless gem. (But I’m sure you know that already.)

I also think that the author of a book should only appear when really looking at it. It is kind of confusing to have some books with author and some without.

Timo - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:03
I agree, even though many of my own suggestions would be rejected because of this -- maybe they should be. It's not merely a question of contemporary/timeless, but also maintaining an inner realism and sense of immersion in the game. Cheap, direct references to "our reality" outside of the game world could break this. Thinking about this makes me realize how well crafted and tasteful the verbal jokes in the classic lucas* games were.

Gareth - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:44
The Pocket Necronomicon.
Voynich manuscript abridged.
Encyclopedia Galactica
On Stranger Tides

Neil Roberts - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:47
Horcruxes for Dummies

Boris - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:53
How to teach Shakespear to a talking skull (too long?)
Shakespear with a talking skull
Indiana Bones - Fraction Stories

Dan - Jul 28, 2015 at 04:57
Diary by Dr. Henry Jones sr.

Damian - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:11
Voodoo for mummies.
The silversmith werewolf.
Cooking without garlic by C Dracula

Lie Murder Profit - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:18
Left Hand To The Right Path
The Book of Hoof
The Infinity Teachings
Mastering PEEK, POKE & Other Spells
The Hard Wind And Other Qabalistic Writings
Black Cat Bad Cat
An Introduction to Chaos Magic
"Amiga Hardware Reference Manual" this is gold, well played 'Count Jul 27'

Matt - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:19
Advanced Poltergeist Gastronomy
300 lbs - Thin Air: Ghost Diets
Be Buffyware Avoid Slayers by J Whedon
Vacuum Cleaner Disrepair Guide

Knarf - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:25
DarkBASIC for dummies

count - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:26
Project Management Body Of Knowledge

n - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:29
Cthulhu and you - a guide to aaaaah

Ralf - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:31
How to get by on 20.000 Euros per day.

Ralf - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:32
Best 400 Lines for Dating Nerds

KKAABRO - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:35
"Satans sautéed soup"

stahlratte - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:42
sustainable soul harvesting
50 quick and easy curses
the beginner's guide to evil spirits
demonic doorways to make yourself
the manly art of witchcraft
your first voodoo doll
a passion for necromancing
charms for everybody
full frontal witchcraft
the practical guide to satanism

Damian - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:45
I think the whole "For Mummies" series could be exploited.

alokkers - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:46
my live after the mansion by Chuck the Plant

reference to chuck the plant from maniac mansion

Alfonso Maruccia - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:46
Summer Party Demons
Voodoo To doo
So Hot in Hell

doglobster - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:34
Voodoo to Doodoo?

Guga - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:47
gniksamckab fo sterces ehT
Original names for your spells
Summon demons using C++
The hitchhiker's guide to Hell
Afterlife etiquette
Lose weight, become a skeleton
101 ways to prank the dead
Ghosts can help you bowl a 300

Roberto Cano - Jul 28, 2015 at 05:47
Windows Internal API  - (Cannot think of anything more occult than that!)
How-to write fun book names
How-to beat Ron to death
How-to find books in an occult shop
The highest book on the shelf
The lowest book on the shelf
How-to use tarot to win at poker
Oui-ja yes si: the affirmative book
Spiritism in a coffin-shell (by O'Reilly)
Bonkers and boners: a skeleton life
Your bife is a witch
Spelling spells: s-p-e-l-l-s
Casting spells for Hollywood
The Medium rare steak
Psychic-trist handbook
Fortune-and-story telling
Deja-vú-doo: deja-vú-doo
Chicken internals: a voodoo handbook

I think I'm empty now :)

Tony - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:05
witches and bitches - fun in the middle age

Wilbert - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:05
The Most Healthy Ways to Die
How to Behave in Your Grave
Stop Coughing in Your Coffin
Cooking From the Graveyard
Rats and Other Pets
How to Ride a Broomstick Decently

Trevor - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:10
Dead and Back Again
The Morality of Mortality
Weed Jar Board Games
Quantum Alchemy

Stoffe - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:10
The Undercover Necronomist

brug0r - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:25
The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

(Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror V)

Thanasis - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:40
Locus Focus: misheard incantations
Sleeping other-wordly monsters
Accounts of the great Witch War I
Creepy Crawly Cuddly Creatures
Backfiring potions by mr Meow

KKAABRO - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:45
"The confession of a Lobot"

David - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:47
Science for Sorcerers

Shred - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:52
Malleus Maleficarum
Mastering vim
Pimp My Broom
Monkey Wrenching *)

*) I already feel pity for the guys who are going to translate all that to other languages. Hi, Boris Schneider-Johne. ;-)

nico - Jul 28, 2015 at 06:55
How to burn a budget by Tim Schaffer

Roger - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:26
broken game :D

Marius - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:01
Magnets, how do they work?

Carl - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:06
The Lost Grimoire of Gerald Ford
Stage Magic by The Voodoo Lady
The Memoirs of Guybrush Threepwood
The lighter side of shadow men
Occult Ovation - Success with magic
UF-NO: Identified Flying Objects
Florida: The Fountain of Youth

Oscar - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:16
Ron Mojitos by Ron Gilbert
Ansible playbook by Commodore
How to program MSX in Python
How to install new Linux Kernel 5.0 in Z80
Monitoring with monitors
Why Workbech 1.0 is better than Windows 10
I buy an Apple and I have a worm

Martin - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:20
Astral Planes for Dummies
How To Find Fuel For The Astral Plane
To The Astral Plane and Back
The Restaurant at the End of the Other Side
The Restroom at the End of the Astral Plane
Guitar Lessons: How to wake the dead

Adrián - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:41
The Brütal Legend of Demon Slaying
Mr. Crowley, by Ozzy Osbourne
How to Defeat Magic Talking Caves


Wilbert - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:48
Relaxing While Hexing
ROFLOL With a Voodoo Doll
Hardcore Hex The Private Parts
Skeletal Diets Risks and Challenges
Full Moon Again Intimate Grooming
Rubber Chicken Voodoo The Pulley
Not So Charming Charms
13 Deadly Potions You Never Tasted

Johann - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:49
The Grassy Knoll

Damian James - Jul 28, 2015 at 07:55
Occulta Mattata by Miss. Teek

Arnold - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:11
70´s Bodybuilding

PrinzJohnny99 - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:12
"What they teach you at Occult School"
"What they don't teach you at Occult School"

Summs up all human knowledge.

Marco Lizza - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:16
"Zlorfik and Other Occult Expressions"

Steffen - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:16
skin protection at hellish weather
an angel-devil lovestory, part 2  (leave part 1 for your next adventure ;-)

Ben Pogue - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:25
Might be pushing the appropriateness level, but "Sex and the Single Necromancer".
If that's too much, "The Pragmatic Necromancer" or a play on the tech book pattern with "Beautiful Necromancy".

Synne and Jonas - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:27
Teaching a dead dog new tricks
Slim pickings – cannibalism on a diet
Shabby Eek! – Home Decor
Hip Lingo for occultists
The Necronomicon for young readers
Death Hacks
Bedtime Stories: Best of Beelzebub
The bat in the hat
The gardener’s handbook to hellish herbs
Pet monster potty training
50 tricks for your hell hound
Vegan recipes for the modern witch
Clairvoyance for dummies
Ancient mystic curses for dummies
Voodoo on a budget
Lonely planet’s guide to Transylvania
Mystic Matchmaking
Dating the dead
Mean and green. Eco friendly sorcery
DIY in the dark – decorate your home
Witch’s guide to vintage clothing
Cute Kittens & Cotton Candy
…So you’ve cursed the wrong person
365 everyday spells
Evil twins: Your shadow and you
Sayings of Satan: a dictionary
Winnie the Boo!
I, Dracula – an autobiography
The digital warlock
Trolls online and IRL
101 potent potions

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:32
Beauty tips by C. LeChuck
Inquisition and you
Inquisition for beginners
Book covers by James Allen
Syntax horror by R. Gilbert
Leg bone's connected to a chain
Afterlife has 3 dimensions
Is there a cursor on you?
Is your life preprogrammed?
I peeked a little, by H. Jones Jr.

Dennis - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:36
Dial-A-Dead-Pir8(Ouija board incl.)

Adrian Jenkin - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:40
(Made up)
Feng Shui for aura reading
Trepanning for fun and profit
Feng Shui and ancient artifacts
Ancient aliens
Not so ancient aliens
Relatively recent aliens
Look behind you! A 3 headed alien!
Astral projection and Mars
Angels and baseball
I see through you Mr Ghost!
Poltergeist practical jokes
I am dead people - a ghost's tale
Murray - from the skull's mouth!
Guide to the River Styx
For t' luv of Marley - LeChuck

(These are real books - OLD but real - some are amusing others just sound cool)
Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie
Corpus Hermeticum
On the Mysteries of Egypt
The Bahir
Three Books of Occult Philosophy
Fourth Book of Occult Philosophy
The Heptameron of Peter De Abano
The Aurora of the Philosophers
The Lesser Key of Solomon
The Key of Solomon
Grand Grimoire
Grimorium Verum
Pseudomonarchia Daemonum
The Golden Chain of Homer
Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie
The Secret Doctrine
Tarot of the Bohemians
Liber Al Vel Legis
The Pictorial Key To the Tarot
Magick Without Tears

Franfranfranco - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:48
*The Shadow of the Wind (Hope you can put it cause its a real book, if you read it you are obviously gonna put it, but if not it is a great book. Let me explain why: Just after the war,the protagonists father takes him to the secret Cemetery of Forgotten Books, a huge library of old, forgotten titles lovingly preserved by a select few initiates. According to tradition, everyone initiated to this secret place is allowed to take one book from it and must protect it for life. Daniel selects a book called The Shadow of the Wind.... and the story goes on.
*The Time I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*When I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*Where I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*Why I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T? (Dont know if its better with or without the by)
*Walkthrough - Thimbleweedpark
*Walkthrough - Myst
*Great Shipwrecks of Our Century
*Avoiding Plagiarism by Gustavo Cordera (Can be any famous plagiarist)
*If I Made Another Monkey Island by Ron Gilbert (Fuck 35 characters limit)
*Computers arent that bad by Skynet
*Fifty shades of Mercedes Colomar

SunDancer - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:49
Zombie Secrets by Sam Zombie
The Necrotelicomnicon
Ode to Edna by Dr. Fred
Hidden messages in Tentacle Porn

Big Red Button - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:50
Escapism: Imaginary Numbers (by L. Euler)

Oleg - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:57
What about: "Octavo by The Creator" or just "Octavo" as a little reference to the recently deceased Terry Pratchett

Marcelo Staudt - Jul 28, 2015 at 08:57
Drops for the Third Eye
Grammar for Astral Plane Trips
Afterlife - Traveler Handbook
Help! I was turned into a book

Tony - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:12
Sociological studies (Oxford University Press; Book 3 - 51) ( by Hugh Hefner )

Jammet - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:15
"The truth about the Face on Mars"
"1001 Arabian Murder Mysteries"
"Necronomicon Ex Mortis Vol. II"
"Magical Paths to Fortune and Power"   (Taken from Ray's Occult book store from the Ghostbusters movie)
"Guide to Romantic Interspiritual Relationships with Class 3 Entities"
"Who're you gonna call?" by Dr Vangman
"Baphomets Curse - a history about broken blades"
"Steadycam Guide to witchhunting documentaries"
"Ghosthunting: stategies and bait"
"Crime Scene Coloring Books: Sad Puppies Edition"
"The Silent Hills of Thimbleweed Park"
"It's not easy, being a Witch"
"Voodoo Ladies Guide to Previously owned Bones - by Stan"

wysiwtf - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:20
Dark voodoo with illegal opcodes
64 shades of glowing green
Finding magic meteors by F. E.
How I killed LeChuck by G.T.
Game of Bones
Bloodmagic and Pentagrams
A warlock guide to demon pets
Vegan food for your Felhunter
Why you should never pay more than 30$ for a retro adventure game (yes its too long i know ;)

Jammet - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:21
"Dammit Jannet" written by Jammet ;)

Jammet - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:25
"Previously owned Bodies by Stan"

Yes I know, XD I just had to add one more. Sorry.

Brett - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:41
Monsters and their Kynds
Monster: The Subtitle
The Big Book of Spells
Occult Lore for the Soul

Davide - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:41
It is a huge number of comments D:

Christopher Griffin - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:43
How to Make Friends and Hide Bodies
Summoning Lesser Demons for Pennies
Magical Mensch by H. Pocustein
50 Ways to Levitate Your Lover
Successful Seance by I.M. Death
Investigating for Dummies

Leo Borg - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:44
My myself and the history of popcorn making

Thomas Mølby - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:48
This is really hard :(

Book of Real Actual Spiders
Sexy Draculas
Help I am Trapped Inside This Book
Tarantula Spells

arvenius - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:54
Crowdsourcing: it works, witches!

Roberto Cano - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:00
Love it! :D

Ks - Jul 28, 2015 at 09:56
Henosis 3D Occultist Engine

Rmn - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:04
A classic:

"Programming Voodoo" by R. Gilbert

Rmn - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:11
...just because: You know it would've been in the old games. ;)

Alternatively, you can pickup some from the MI2 library I bet.

Dersony - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:13
Hologramatic (Abridged)
(It is anachronic because the hologram theory is from 1990s, but, who knows what strange books one can find in a place like that)

Dr.J - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:20
Animal Magnetism by F. Mesmer
Parser Programming by K. Williams
1001 Cocktail Recipes
C++ Unleashed

Bosbeetle - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:42
Turning frogs into books by O.Neshot
How to empty your dreamcatcher
Recycling guide: turn waste into gold
The memoirs of a reptilian
Chupacabra: "suck on this"

kon - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:49
Living with a meteor by Dr. Fred

WhiteRakogis - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:54
Braaaaaains by Eddy the Zombie
500 Totally Useless Spells
Killing Zombies With Plants
Drawing Pentagrams, vol. 36
Living Without a Head

I'll post more later if I come up with some...

kon - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:55
Junior Woodchucks Guidebook by Woody

Wilbert - Jul 28, 2015 at 10:56
Naughty Spells With Funny Smells
Tarot Cards and Carrot Tarts
The Corpse Whisperer
Free Souls and Other Bargains
He Jinxed My Pussy I Broke his Wand
Mummies for Dummies
Cursing Without Profanity
Why Magic Needs a Stupid Hat

Joost - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:00
333 new uses for bat guano
insulating summoning circles
Snakes by H.Jones

Big Red Button - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:06
A Hundred Vices of a Hexaholic

Morphez - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:11
I always liked references so I would include the following:

- "Voodoo cookbook" from Monkey Island 2 (I don't know if this is the correct title as I only played the german version of the game)
- "The Necronomicon" from The Club Dumas / Cthulhu Mythos
- "Aleister Crowley - A Biography"
- "The Zombie Survival Guide" (real book by Max Brooks)
- "The Mojo Collection" (Actually a book about music, but the title fits)

Roger - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:12
In Diana Jones

Roger - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:13
Raiders of the lost Arse

Geoff Paulsen - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:14
"The book that shall remain unamed"
"Cthuhlu Dictionary for the spelling impaired"
"10 best levitation lines"
"Big girls DO scry"
"To REALLY kill a mockingbird"
"Eye of Newt and other homebrews"
"Aether Alcoholics Anonymous"
"Numerology over Denominology"
"Sell your soul to Santa"
"Divination and Multiplication"
"There's no can't in Incantation"
"HooDoo that Vodou that you do?"
"Binary, Octal, & Decimal for Hexers"
"New Age for the new age"
"Toddler's Temper Tantras"
"Wicca Basket Weaving for Dummies"

Christian - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:18
Something wicked this way comes

Starship Titanic - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:27
„How to summon a book“ by R. Herring

LogicDeLuxe - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:37
The Dark Side of Chainsaw Gas
Grail Dairy - H. Jones
How to Repair the Library Stairs
Exorcism vol 42: Ghost Pirates
Exorcism vol 43: Root Beer
A trilogy without part 3 - Ron G.
Reversing Palindrom Spells - Robbin
Alternatives to Voodoo - D. Vader
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Pet Sematary the Manual - S. King
How Séances Work - Bill and Ted
32 Shades of Gray - Limits of OCS
Voodoo Spell Checker
The Ring: VHS tape included
How to Voodoo - 3dfx
Recipes: Grog XD
The Color of the Tree - H. T.
Witchcraft: Colored Christals
The Answer: 42
Init DOOM refresh Daemon [......]
X Marks the Spot: A T-Shirt Guide
Rare Plants: Voodoo Antiroot
Jinx on Demand: Black Pages
This book will crash your PC!

conradson - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:47
The broom have eyes
How to kill a carnivorous plant
Mummies for dummies

Pottty - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:48
How to be less sparkly by: Drakula
Pick up lines for the undead
How to write an Adventure Book
Sea Ship Enterprise: The first pox
The story of Guynush Treftwoop

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 11:58
Spectral Gastronomy by P. Man

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:01
"Dematerialize This Book"
"101 Recipes for Cryptid Meat"

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:14
Getting Your Poltergist to Pay Rent
Crowdsourcing the Spirit Realm

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:57
Keeping Your Jaw On (For Skeletons)

Nobody Likes Child Sorcerers

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:14
Social Media Presence from Beyond

Cleaning Ectoplasm

Necromancy Pranks

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:24
Occult: Pretext for Weird Sex Stuff

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:53
Ancient Burial Site Building Codes

Boo!: Theatre Criticism for Ghosts

Am I Cool-Weird or Just Kinda Gross

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:18
Curse Words

The Velcronomicon

Is My Chair Haunted or Just Squeaky

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:36
Bermuda Triangle: Still a Thing?

Strong Encryption for Ouija Boards

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:37
Getting High On: Enchanted Crystals

Paranormal Event Report Almanac XVI

Magic/Religion Compatibility Matrix

Exploding Things With Your Mind

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:50
Monster Mash: Truth Behind the Tale

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:17
Why Eye Oughtta: Eyeball Magic

The Ethics of Exorcism

Past Lives: Graverobbing Yourself

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:49
Living with Familiars & Allergies

Haunt City: A Ghostpunk Novel

Dating Supernatural Beings

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:19
The Whispering Rock Camp Massacre
360° Headspins & More Extreme Yoga

Using Levitation to Fix Subsidence

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:41
How to Excavate a Bottomless Pit

GleamCo Crystal Ball User's Manual

Beyond the Grail: 26 Powerful Cups

DC - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:15
Bird of Power: Middle-Finger Magic

1,001 Slurs for Non-Magical People

Pointy Hat Catalog

Mark S - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:09
Quotes From Immortalists Vol.527

Mikko - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:12
"A Book For Dummies"
"I Want To Believe - Or Do I?" By Midnight Shaman
"How To Walk Like a Human in Three Easy Steps" by A.E. Leons
"Talk To The Hand - The 3rd Ear"
"Bookcase Owner's Manual - IKEA"
"10 Things to do Just Before you Die"
"How To Run a Phone Company"

Johann - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:19
Oh, cool voodoo food of cults to do

badde - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:26
what says Boris Schneider-Johne to this idea? Nice job for him to translate all this books  ; - )

Big Red Button - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:33
The Sorcerer's Apprentice by Goethe

LogicDeLuxe - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:44
Witchcraft: Respawning Grog Mugs
Bermuda Triangle: How to Get Lost
Ghostwriting: How to abuse backers
Reanimation for Dummies - Largo
The way to lower a pentagram: 666
Why there is Ammo in Hell
Black Magic. Also Avail. in Green
CUT! CUT! CUT! by Ron Gilbert
How to Get Ahead in Navigating

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:49
For all the Pratchett fans:
Outwitting Death by GNU Pratchett

(see http://www.gnuterrypratchett.com/)

Doug - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:52
7 Tips for Bartering your Soul
Chicken Sacrifice for the Soul
Junior Witches Encyclopedia of Northwest Bats
Twelve Pentagrams and One Square
Happiness is a Warm Spell
On Demons and Devilry, A Comedic Romp
How to Pick Up a Succubus
Seven Jokes to Tell the Devil
Darkness, Death, and Taxes
The Long Road to the Transmundane
Gold to Lead, the Untold Story
Future Unlocked, Everyday Time Travel Techniques
Book of Slight Gloom
Alternative Sources, A Grimoire
Wall Street RPG, a D20 Game
A to Z of Athames
Ritual and You
Where to Find David Blaine at Any Given Moment
Gateway to Dinosaur Times
Popular Spells
Unpopular Spells, Hipster Edition
Untold Histories
Forgotten Rhymes
The Mystery of Doctor Who Writing
Dream Through the Ages
Power Through Dreaming
Dream Wandering
How To Tell If Your Partner Is Dream Wandering
The Source of All Weevils
Jesus the Witch, The Untold Story
Beyond the Veil
Truth of the Soul

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 12:52
You say dead, I say ripe

Killing immortal boredom

Bigfoot shoes - by Nike

It takes a village to raise the dead

How I met your mothership

Crossword puzzles - by Jesus

Electric chairs - by IKEA

Dr. Acula cures leukemia

Funniest eulogies - by Mattias L T Cedervall

Steffen - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:03
Vegan secrets for vampire happiness
Reincarnation for the undead
Noodle recipes for Dragon Warriors

graham - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:12
true story swear to baphomet

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:18
Pentakilo - heavy magic

Karaoke backwards

Format your karma

Necrophile's lost files

Ouija skateboard

Talk to the dead BEFORE you kill them

13 Vs. 666

Autopsies and picnics


Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:21
How to avoid books

Mischa Magyar - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:23
Ouyja - A Medium Quality Console
A Guide to Vegan Voodoo
I Want to Believe by F. Mulder
I Want to Believe, but... by D.S.
Build a Monster by Dr. F. N. Stein
Vampires Sparkle? by Dr. A. Cula
Was there a Fifth Horseman?

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:56
A fifth horseman sounds interesting. Like the fifth member of The Beatles.

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:24
The Bumbling Misadventures of Ron & Gary

Man with a duck - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:36
The Lost Roman Ekspedition to America.

Man with a duck 2 - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:56
The Curse of the Weremummy (fact)
The Curse of the Weremummy 2: Electric Boogaloo (fiction)

Man with a duck 3 - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:59
How to fend off Undead Hippies

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:39
I'm possessed: Confessions by Max

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:43
10 foods to eat just before you die

Man with a duck - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:58
10 ways to die before you croak

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 13:46
How to write spam

How to write how to-books

Anthony - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:04
Where to Get a Head
Hand/Eye Reorganization
Making Old Bones: Crafting 101

Derrick Reisdorf - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:06
Putt-Putt Visits the Cemetery
(or Morgue)

It's Alive! Reanimating Made Easy

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:14
Pastime activities 6 feet below

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:21
Deodorants for walking dead by Axe

michaf - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:22
Point & Click Adventures for Dummies
Trending Remedies for Death by Snu Snu

Mintfresh - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:23
64 shades of gray by E.G.A

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:51

Gv - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:43
Or two shades of black, like in the 16 color palette of EGA. ;)

Roger - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:27
Rubber Chicken and purpur Tentacle : New Techniques in Fetishism (Oxford University Press (Book also avaible at MIT and Caltech))

Norman - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:30
Snakes on an Astral-Plane

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:33
Old Testament by God
New Testament by Jesus
My Testament by Ted

Lightning Rod - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:48
Reanimate your Avatar
Root your Android - a Zombies Guide
Choosing an ISP for the Afterlife
13 Habits of Highly Effective Zombies
The Art of Being Immortal
Death is not a Problem to be Solved

Alan - Jul 28, 2015 at 14:56
Cults: from A to O
100 Best iCult Apps
How to Control People     (You know.  Cuz, that's what you do when you play a video game.  You control people.  Get it?  Give it a minute.)
Exploded Hamsters and Their Uses
Uses for Pond Scumm in Witchcraft
Chewy Caramel Center Control
Wicca Wonder Workers
Wizard, Warlock: What's the Diff?
Brighten Your Home with Dark Arts
Razing Your Squib    (Holey moley, did I come up with that pun?!?!  Wow I'm awesome!!!  :D )

Peter - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:42
SCUMM for beginners

Mike - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:47
Reanimation Made Easy
Intro to Wicca - The Sun, The Moon, and You
101 More Uses For Eye of Newt
Dead And Loving It
The Corpses of Corpus Christi
Voodoo That You Can Do
21 Spells Anyone Can Cast
Surviving Your First Stake Burning
Hazards of Witchcraft
A Light Approach to the Dark Arts
I'm A Zombie: The Teenage Years
Possession is not 9/10ths of the law
Ouija For Skeptics

Mike - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:53
The Many Gods of Monotheism
Head Shrinking For Boneheads
Craft Brew for Witches

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:48
Ay. OK. Some quick ones:

1) Hypnophone-one ring to rule them all
2)Han goes solo-the Voodookie-Breakup
3)Voodoo it yourself

OK, Number 3 must have been mentioned before - havn't read all (fantastic, of course) previous entries...

goodidea82 - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:48
"Bar Codes, Defend Yourself!" by I Be Am (http://www.666truth.org/history/antichrist-myths/articletype/articleview/articleid/901/pageid/913)

"How to find a book" by Dijkstra

"SCUMM for Dummies" by Dummies

Natalija - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:52
Maybe "CUT! CUT! CUT!" by Ron Gilbert

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:52
Ay. OK. Some quick ones:

1) Hypnophone-one ring to rule them all
2)Han goes solo-the Voodookie-Breakup
3)Voodoo it yourself

OK, Number 3 must have been mentioned before - havn't read all (fantastic, of course) previous entries...

(Ah! Got gravatar running. Amazing modern times.)

thomas - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:57
Daemons and trolls by L. Poettering

Norman - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:57
An Affair to Dismember
Zanni - Live at the Necropolis
New Age - Same as the Old Age
Day of the Pentacle
Wicca, the Evil Ewok
Scientology Errata
Queries for Oracles

DasJan - Jul 28, 2015 at 15:59
"Hoodoo" by Hictor Hoorhees

Myst - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:05

Myst - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:15

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:10
Big boned people: died for diet

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:12
Who do voodoo? You do too!

Nikola - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:21
Born to rune
Eating Gilbert Grape
Malleus Cimexarum
Quaerere Daemonium Lenimentus by Bruce Clay
Machina Computatio et Intelligentia by Alan Turing
Unum Volavit Super a Cuculus Nidum by Milos Forman

Man with a cat - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:26
Top Beauty Tips of Skull&Bones
VHS: A CIA Mind Control Device
Maps to fake islands
Water Fluoridation: a Commie Plot
Marijuana-use leads to Nazism
Camelot - Rise of the New World Order
Men In Black - UFO servants
Apollo 11 FAKED: Moon dosen't exist!
The Interweb - SATAN'S invention!
Santa Claus: Unchristian and Communist!

Man with a dog - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:30
JFK died in 1691!
Zombie Clowns - A Guide
Cyborg-Mummies: Fact or Fiction?

Man with a duck - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:42
The Nazi-Commie Conspiracy

Man with Flamingo - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:38
Commienazis: Our Next Enemy
Timetravellers guide, 1523 bc
The Book of Known Secrets
The Round Pyramids of Poland
Werevampires: Fact or Fiction?
Garlicsaleman's guide to Transylvania
How to Spot Alien Vampire Clowns

Man with Flamingo2 - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:56
Diary of Oswald
MK-ULTRA and other CIA food-chains

Ryan Henson Creighton - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:26
- I'm OK, You're Cthulu
- The Bileble
- Goodnight Moon, Sun, and Planets
- What Color is Your Parasite?
- Eat, Pray, Love, Summon
- Pccult - Qccult
- Ghroth, Interrupted
- Eats, Shoots & Devours Souls
- Paganomics: Trickle-Down Heresy
- Dark Cuddles
- Ulthar? I Hardly Knew 'Er!
- Great Food Fast by Martha Stewart

Niek - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:28
Come on baby, light my fire. by L. Ucifer

el0j - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:29
The Complete Book of Lucky Numbers
On Simulacrum Piracy
Encyclopedia of Gargoyles & Robots
Call of Cthulhu: Best Practices
Teach Yourself Numerology in 7 days

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:32
The Impenetrability of Corpses
Planetics by L.Ron Howard
Grow a Moustache by G. Gurdjieff
Little Riding Red Book by C. Jung
De Expressionis Regularis
Dependency Charts and the Kabbalah

Trond - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:33
101 Jedi Mind Tricks
Voodoo in 24 hrs
How to talk like a Pirrrate

Emmanuel Eytan - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:37
Harmless Dark Spells by Don Task

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:38
My deal with The Mouse, by G. Lucas

Nick Tashiro - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:39
Round 2...

11) 7 Habits of Highly Infected People
12) Are You My Mummy? By Dr. Zeuss
13) Sulphur's Choice
14) I Was a Teenage Muggle
15) Soylent Spring
16) The South Leech Diet
17) Who's Eating Gilbert Grape?
18) The Joy of Cooking People
19) Bloodletting Go
20) Eye of Newt and Other Dieting Myths

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:41
That's a real one, and one of the most occult: "The Jargon File by E.S. Raymond"

Ook - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:42
Ook, by the Librarian

Nik - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:44
Getting Jinx Done™ by David Allen

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:50
Shrinking games by Beetlejuice

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:52
Homeopathic Illusionism by J. Randi

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 16:58
By popular demand - some more before bedtime:

1) I'll be back-guide to undead actors
2) the parrot is not dead - pet seances
3)Never Happend-Foretelling no future

(popular demand based iDemocracy™)

Witch - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:02
Wizards are from Uranus

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:04
Dude, where's my body: guide to dead

Mordio - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:06
Cargo Cult Capitalism

Helge Frisenette - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:07
After reading through a lot of the suggestions I gotta say that there is an alarming crap to good ratio.
Come on people! This isn't a brainstorm.
Try to at least have some self criticism and ask yourself "is this up to the standards that these guys are known for".
Don't just write anything that pops into your mind.

Almost everything seems to be highly derivative (as in a variation of something heard before), incredibly lame or having to do with programming languages.

And yes, this *is* pretty hard.
That is why A: You are not Ron Gilbert B: He asks for your help.

Having to sift through all the suggestions as it is now ends up being almost as much work for Ron, as just doing them all himself.

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:31
Damn. Sadly, that's very true.

I'd take back some of the alarming crap I posted just a few minutes before (mildly funny isn't funny enough). It's the curse of adrenaline and easy to use comment functions....

At least you prevented me from suggesting:
7)petagrams-geometry with animals

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:33
No- you didn't! Arrr.........

Rick - Jul 28, 2015 at 22:59

Well, if you think that you can do much better, we're all eager to hear your suggestions.

2 - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:09
Summoner's Guide, vol. 2: Unsummoning

2 - Jul 29, 2015 at 13:30
Summoner's Guide 2: Unsummoning
if that won't fit

Patrick - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:10
Busting the Spirit of Christmas

Iketani - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:13
Guide to your own pet tentacle

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:14
Sharing your Pics with Pentagrams
Bash-based Fortune Telling
Quick Erase of Fortune Cookies
Anonymity for Gods: The Thor Case
Uninterruptible Power Supplies by A. Hilter

Staroc - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:19
Spirit Guide - 101 fine Whiskys

criskywalker - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:21
Well, here a few:

- How to Train Your Golem
- 50 Slightly Different Shades of Darkness
- How To Fight Like a Zombie Cow
- Vampire Hunting for Idiots
- The ABCs of Spelling
- 101 Recipes for Vegan Vampires
- Hair Fashion Style Guide for Lycanthropes
- I Have No Brain and I Must Eat - Recipes for Zombies
- Tentacle Busters
- Teenage Mutant Ouija Hurdles
- The Secret of Zombie Island 3 - Now It's for Real
- Maps for Haunted Libraries
- Life is a Simulation - Conspirancies
- DIY - How to Build a Haunted House
- 1999 - The End is Nigh! It's Assured!
- Le Spook - Tales of Legendary Zombies, Ghost and Pirates
- Gone with the Curse
- The Citizen Ghost
- Doom Skull Raiders of the Crystal Temple of Atlantis
- Deja Vu - Black Cat -Deja Vu - Black Cat - Deja Vu - Black Cat
- Beetles' Juice - Voodoo Drink Recipes
- Spells for Making Videogames
- Multiverse and Multiprose
- DOS Master Race
- Help! My Computer is Haunted!
- Doppelganger by The Other
- Look Behind you! A Three Headed Alien!
- How to Curse by Foul-Mouthed Wizard

Barton Lynch - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:27
A trio of suggestions:

1) "Three Headed Monkey: Fact or Myth"
2) "1001 uses of GROG in VooDoo"
3) "Tentacle Reanimation by Dr. Fred"

Hope you like 'em, I couldn't avoid the Monkey Island/Maniac Mansion references (it's all your fault). Now hurry up with that game!

Orso - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:37
Driving in Naples

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:57
+1 but only Italians could get that...
I propose a variant: The Secret Art of Italian Parking

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 23:08
I've been to Naples three times, but I don't understand what you mean.

roccapl - Jul 29, 2015 at 00:20
I think this video explains all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0h7JkkJUAs

Kay - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:39
The secret of Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders.

The dark tribe behind Monkey Island.

LeChuck: A never ending story by LeChuck JR.

roccapl - Jul 28, 2015 at 17:52
The autobiography of Nina Simone is actually a good one https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Put_a_Spell_on_You_%28book%29
How To Spell Properly by Sesame St
Lovely Rituals by Paul.S.Dead
Soul Obligations by Robert Johnson

Jörg - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:08
What's at Stake? - Vampirism Today
So You Want to Howl at the Moon
One Thousand and One Wights
Des Pudels Kern
Apocalyptic Hobby Horses
Seeing the Unseen
Unseeing What Has Been Seen
Brain Bleach - 99 Yummy Recipes
Too Many Ghouls by Wight Watchers
Jingle Hells - Obnoxious Music 101
Singing in the Brain - A Memoir
Grays Sports Almanac

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:22
Genie's world records

Key to warlock

English-Tentacle dictionary

How to shoplift - by The Book Thief

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:24
Alternative: Genie's ward records

Zak Phoenix McKracken - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:29
Coughs and Coffins
The Dark Side of Nurse Edna
Teaching Kids to be Bad People   [David Fox, please forgive me for this one! :-) ]
Inspire, Keep Inside, Quietly Die
When you are full of Emptiness
The Imperial March, by J. Caesar
Dogs and Cats are not men's Friends

Nick Tashiro - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:42
Round 3...

21) The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo
22) Voodoo, Schmoodoo: A Critique
23) Beauty and the Beastmaster
24) My So-Called Afterlife
25) The Tastiest of the Mohicans
26) My Dinner Was Andre
27) Eat, Pray, Lobotomize
28) A Walk to Dismember
29) Of Spice and Men: A Cookbook
30) I'm Not Dead Yet! By Carrot Top

21 - Jul 29, 2015 at 13:27
"The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo" is good :)

Gv - Jul 28, 2015 at 18:49
The power of the Inluminatis
The book of patterns by M. Hetchel
Patriarchy has no place in Voodoo
Tin foil hats are Inluminati
Squares, 2 triangles... Inluminatis
Mysterious world wide sewer

Note that I write iNluminati for comedy purposes, in spanish (my 1st language) sounds good

Matt Lacey - Jul 28, 2015 at 22:03
"The book of patterns by M. Hetchel" <--- ONE THOUSAND TIMES THIS!

Arto - Jul 28, 2015 at 19:00
Prank calls with Edna

Mr D Sir - Jul 28, 2015 at 19:01
How I Sold My Soul To Get Rich Fast

ymir - Jul 28, 2015 at 19:04
Dinosaurs of Mars.
Lost Nazi Colony of Lemuria.

Lechuck - Jul 28, 2015 at 19:54
Occult Philosophy for Dummies
How to Seduce Elaine Marley Using Dark Magic by Guybrush Threepwood

Adam Yedlin - Jul 28, 2015 at 19:56
"Voodoo for Girls"
"Rat Soup for the Pirate Soul"
"Lemonhead Shmelonhead"
"To Worship Gary"

Buaku - Jul 28, 2015 at 20:48
Thimbles of the Occult
Occulation Celebration!

Maxi Navarro - Jul 28, 2015 at 20:54
How to make Voodoo Chicken by Coronel Sanders

Maxi Navarro - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:14
Actually I did't count well:
Voodoo Chicken by Colonel Sanders
How to make voodoo chicken

Jaarik - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:26
Help I married a shapeshifter!

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 28, 2015 at 23:06
Help? Isn't that a good thing? Today is Angelina Jolie-day and tomorrow is Kate Upton-day...

Ashley B - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:27
F0FF Hex editing

Noodleneck - Jul 28, 2015 at 21:28
Cults of Orange County: O.C. Cults

Duphus - Jul 28, 2015 at 23:06
1). Visual Voodoo Studio for Dummies
2). This one takes two books for the joke to make sense:
         I). V++ for Dummies
         II). D++ for Dummies

Mike - Jul 28, 2015 at 23:55
Ten Summoner's Tales

Jonny - Jul 29, 2015 at 01:14
Getting down with levitation

The Pimp Shrimp - Jul 29, 2015 at 01:37
The Lizard Blood of the English Royalty
The Big Book on Exorcism

AJ - Jul 29, 2015 at 01:47
Here's some more, in case you don't have enough already ;)

"99 Problems But a Witch Ain't One" by JZ
"When Vampires Didn't Suck: Before Twilight"
"Salt Circles for Dummies"
"Spell Check for Dummies"
"101 Substitutes for Eye of Newt"
"Fails of Avoiding Threefold"
"Adding the BAM to the Brew"
"Avoiding the Broom Closet"
"The Wiccapedia"
"Apparitions Anonymous"
"How to Deal With Hex Support"
"Hex Support Training Manual"
"The Hexbook from Hell"

This was so much fun ^^

etgentile486 - Jul 29, 2015 at 02:07
The Obscure Art of Pizza Making

Kris Bleakley - Jul 29, 2015 at 02:23
The newly dead handbook
Left at the altar by Sacrifice
Bite on this! by Zom.b.killer
Algebra for dummies by Braindead
I ain't got no body by Murray
Hex, grog, and voodoo spells
Playghoul December '86
One foot in the grave by Pegleg
How to train your zombie
Twisted sister by E.Eddison
Is that a wand in your pocket?
How to win at Tarot
Selling your soul by Stan
Hygiene for Zombies
How to lose a body in ten days
What color is the tree? by H.Toothroot
Not the druids you are looking for
The Joy of Hex: volume 2
ESP for beginners

Some of these maybe over 35 characters but if you use a thinner font like Monkey Island.

Matt Rini III - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:03
"The Wiccan Witch of the West"

Elcondo17 - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:03
"How to digitize your library"

Carl - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:21
35 characters but you aint one

Christian Studer - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:22
The Last Day Of Earth, Part 2: The Day After

Iketani - Jul 29, 2015 at 03:41
Occult Books by Rin Golbert

skarsson - Jul 29, 2015 at 04:54
M. Ferrari & Other Mythical Beings

Exercising your Demons

Grays Sports Almanac: 1950-2000

666 Ways to Skin a Cat

#000000 Magic

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 05:38
Cheap buildings with free masonry

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 05:44
Spell troubleshoot & repair manual

LoopyMind - Jul 29, 2015 at 05:55
Becoming a lookout 101, braille edition

Loopymind - Jul 29, 2015 at 06:04
Or minus the 101.. and yes it's a MI1 reference :)

Maakster - Jul 29, 2015 at 06:21
The Bible.

What could be more occult than that?

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 29, 2015 at 07:49
good one!

bootsy - Jul 29, 2015 at 07:06
Extra Sense and Sensibility
Macbeth 2 - this time it's personal
The Design and Evolution of C++

Bastian - Jul 29, 2015 at 07:40
Praying to Seitan: Vegan Satanism
Becoming One with Uranus
Numerology You Can Count On
Vegans Are From Vega

Bastian - Jul 29, 2015 at 07:43
The Vegan's Guide to the Milkyway

Tristan S - Jul 29, 2015 at 07:47
Summoning: Pentagram or Octagram?

Aioros - Jul 29, 2015 at 08:17
A bit late to the party, I guess:

101 Quizzes for Divinators
Book of Prophecies (Revised Edition)
Beach ready with the ectoplasm diet
How to get fit without exorcising
A beginner's guide to Ouija chess

Parasomnia - Jul 29, 2015 at 08:36
Henry Jones' Grail Diary

Andreas - Jul 29, 2015 at 08:36
New Apostolic Church (NAC): How to touch his soul even if he is an asshole

Mark S - Jul 29, 2015 at 08:38
Satin Worship: A Clothmaker's Guide

bootsy - Jul 29, 2015 at 09:09
Flying Spaghetti Monster: My Story
Witchdoctor Zhivago

Peter Campbell - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:42
Do you happen to be the same bootsy from cinemassacre?

bootsy - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:49
I have never been on that site so no.

Big Red Button - Jul 29, 2015 at 09:47
C64 Aided Séances

Bulder Van Klovn - Jul 29, 2015 at 11:21
C64 or CIA?

Because we actually dont know whether Jack Tramel was CIA or not, or what the implications of the "C64" as you call it are!

And no I am not paranoid. It is very normal to be eating the glowing mushrooms beneath my bathtub!

RICHARD M - Jul 29, 2015 at 10:42
Zombie idols By Lemon Head

snorbruis - Jul 29, 2015 at 11:46
On the Origin of Spices

Jamie Lynne Powell-Herbold - Jul 29, 2015 at 13:20
Understanding Gush, 2nd Ed.    - obscure MtG reference, also a real book
I, Crowley
Are you there Satan? It's Aleister.
Crowley's Angels

Timo - Jul 29, 2015 at 13:32
A Grimoire of Fandangos Macabres

Bruno - Jul 29, 2015 at 13:36
Le Chuck Origins:A Ghost Approch

LoopyMind - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:06
"Hit the road" by Sam Maximilian

Brian - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:08
"The Legend of El Pollo Diablo"

"Biography of a Voodoo Lady"

doglobster - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:20
10 Hot Sausage Dog Recipes
Velvet Cloaks Winter '84 Collection
The Void: No Fly-Tipping
Occultism vs Hygiene
Attracting Molluscs
Immaculate Dungeons '85 Calendar
Saucy Spirit Encounters
Enchanting Your Aunt

doglobster - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:34
50 Dungeons to Die For

J - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:24
Skulls n' Things

Zombocast - Jul 29, 2015 at 14:28
Why stop with books!

"Penta" ghram crackers.
Fortune "teller" cookies.
Mood "onion" rings.
Horris scope "mouthwash"

LoopyMind - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:09
"The art of demonic laughter" S. Murray
"Three basic steps to any profession"
"Voodoo cooking with Rubberchickens"
"Voodoo Dolls; trough the needles eye"
"Taking care of your Chuck plant"
"Preserving a navigators head"
"22 stump jokes"
"Bringing back the Mojo"

Maxi Navarro - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:11
Disc travel guide by Rincewind

L Dimas - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:12
How to reach H Frisenette quality standards and other myracles.

Boss - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:16
Hair and Dolls by D. Trump

Mario - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:20
Why Tim Schafer committed suicide
How ro rip off by Kickstarter
How the Hex you get here
Tasty Sewer Soup Gas Recipe

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:12
The first one is too harsh. :-(

Mario - Jul 30, 2015 at 02:27
haha, u think?

Boss - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:24
tasteless or childish, choose one.

Mario - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:25
Building BIG Library Ladders

Christopher Griffin - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:27
AI for Mummies
C64 Programmer's Reference Manual
COBOL for Cabals
Tentacle Fetish by Tickle M Good
Cthulu Fried Chicken by HP Lovefood
Octal for Squids
Hayne's Impala Repair Manual

Carlo Valenti - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:38
"I killed Chuck Norris"
"Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home"
The other great mystery, by E.Brown

Seckritus Questionson - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:42
Sea Monsters of Boston's sewers
Dwarven Midgets: All The Facts
Loch Ness: Commie or Alien?
Jewish Samurais of Denmark
8th Century Norse Water Bottels
Warlock Rextahr or: why I stopped worrying and love the curse

The New Guy - Jul 29, 2015 at 15:45
Long time reader, first time commenter here. It may be futile to throw in more suggestions at this point, but here are a few anyway, just for laughs:

Selling Your Soul for Profit or Pleasure

1000 Places To See After You Die

The Tea Leaf Reader's Companion

Twenty Trite Tarot Tricks

Voodoo Necronomics 101

Things Better Left Undead

LauraZeeee - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:03
Are you there God? It's me, Satan.
Chicken Soup for the Wandering Soul
Pride and Poltergeists
Withering Heights

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:09
Pinterest: social media for voodoo

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:11

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:13
Twitter, the squeaky rubber chicken

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:21
Ghost protocol by T. Cruise

Steffen - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:06

Sebastian - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:44
An Ankh is the key – By Bob E. Pin
Agnosticism – Believe it or not
Clairvoyance at night – by Ray Ban
Classic cusses from Ank to Zlorfik
Eyewitness guide: Walpurgis Night
Healing with gems and nuclear power
Healing with gems and solar power
Helena Blavatsky for dummies
Jobs of the future: the seer
Jobs of the future: the shamen
Veggie Voodoo: Corn and corpses
Writing in runes, an Introduction
Witches: They float and burn

LogicDeLuxe - Jul 29, 2015 at 16:52
Altruist Guide - Trevor
Ron Gilbert: Creator or Myth?
Secret Catacombs: Insert Disk 22
Oricalcum: The Myth of Beads
404: Book not found
Fun with Magic Bytes
Summon a Zombie: Guide to Linux
Pah-wraiths by Dukat
Astral Projection vs. Ventriloquy
Encryption for Dummies: 0x69
Hi-Fi: The #1 in Voodoo Gizmos

You'll notice how true the last one is, if you just do a Google image search on Voodoo Gizmos.

doglobster - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:34
Hah - I love "404: book not found"!

Sebastian - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:06
In this case, we also needed a "403 forbidden"  and a "302 document moved here" :-)

- - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:28
How to be happy

doglobster - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:36
Yo Fuzz Face! Werewism on the Street
Necronanny: Devilry & Your Lil Devil
Ogres Worth Ogling
Starlight Express the Novelisation
Disintegrating Rita
Star Wars Episode X : Jediatrics
Ye Olde Booke o' Willies
Dynasty the Annual 1981

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:52
Voodoo tech: ctrl

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:54
What happened to my Avatar?, by Arto

Guess I typed my e-mail incorrectly...

Gv - Jul 29, 2015 at 17:57
Poetic by Aristotle 2nd part
Satanism for chubbies
COMEFROM considered harmful

Gv - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:27
I know it is against the 35 character rule but somehow must be made known that the Poetics comes with comments by Jorge de Burgos of "Name of the Rose" fame ;)

Peter Campbell - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:10
Gary Winnick Aliases by Mark Ferrari

Ashley B - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:10
Crystal Ball Gazing (Braille)

Wired - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:28
I apologise for some of these (but not much)

Math 666: How To Interpolate Spines
How I met your (Zombie) mother.
Scottish Clans 765 : The Och Cult
The Och Cult: Clans of Scotland
Laying Ley Lines by Layla Lines
Reincarnation Vol 3: Coming soon
Pocket guide to Summer Summoning
12 Taro recipes
Counting in Hex Vol 1-7
Big book of Zombie Survival Games

Mike - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:40
Vampire Selfies, a How-to Guide
Rising from the grave as transgendered
Goats Blood by Taylor Swift

Leak - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:51
Some webcomic variations:

Oh Joy Hex Toy by Erika Moon
Sunstone by Stje*cough* Something
My Life With Hell by Kenno Arcane
Romantically Occultistic
667: The Atheist Apocalypse

Leak - Jul 29, 2015 at 18:53
Oh, and of course:

The Art Of Fitting To 35 Characters

entropy - Jul 29, 2015 at 19:04
"Pendulum Dowsing with Parkinson's"
"Comic Seance: Typography with Blood"

Daniel - Jul 29, 2015 at 20:32
How to defeat a megalomaniac ghost - by G. T.


The art of hidding hidden books - The ninja book master

Meteor police - Jul 29, 2015 at 20:43
- "Beyond the pineal gland"
- "Fluoride: water conspiracy"
- "The meteor guardian angels"
- "The chainsaw gas spiritual quest"
- "The eternity of the tentacle"
- "Dr. Fred: control your brain"
- "Fifty shades of Edna"
- "Beyond Edna's infinite love"
- "The white crystal" (blue and yellow too of course)
- "The two-headed squirrel cult"
- "Annie & her artifacts"
- "Zlofrik: The mindbenders mythology"
- "Zombies: The Bush family"
- "Your clown guardian angels"
- "UFOs: The King`s diary"

Arto - Jul 29, 2015 at 20:51
There is no book by Neo
Pandoras book covers by T. Toybox
There's lot of books, Jesus
These are not the books by Obi Wan

Patrik Spacek - Jul 29, 2015 at 21:32
The count of comments gives me a sweat! :o)  (sorry Ron, more than 35 characters again)

Patrik Spacek - Jul 29, 2015 at 21:39
BTW.. I placed your images to PS and I seen your resolutions... Mark's night scene has 860x344 and the library has 960x1032. Now, have you Ron mentioned game resolution 320x240 for the final game? in that case the scenes will have a huge scrolling. Am I wrong?

Ron Gilbert - Jul 29, 2015 at 22:04
You are not wrong, there is a lot of scrolling. I did crop the Occult Bookstore a bit to make it fir the website, but it scrolls both ways.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 29, 2015 at 23:42
The Elder Scrolls or The Younger Scrolls?

Maakster - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:22
He said both ways.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 29, 2015 at 22:18
Gift ideas for Mothership’s day

Eric Jacobus - Jul 29, 2015 at 22:25
Chicken Sacrifice for the Soul

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 29, 2015 at 23:38
Straitjackets-Knitting Patterns

Neat meat eating plants

Lobotomize is a wise vice

Open a sweatshop in hell

Matt Colón - Jul 30, 2015 at 00:17
Cult of the Darned

Necro's Guide to Raising Children

Raising Children... from the Dead

Cutest Torture Devices

Zombie or Not Zombie?

I, Zombie

Cutethulu and Other Young Gods

All My Friends are Undead

Being Undead: A Beginner's Guide

Who Do Voodoo?  You Do!

Ghostdusters: Clean Shriek

Littlest Pet Cemetery

My Lil' Zombie: Fiendship is Tragic

The Witchest: Assassins of Monarchs

The Fast Ghast who was Last

ATAT - Jul 30, 2015 at 01:37
Lovecraft: The Don Juan guide

Cattie - Jul 30, 2015 at 02:12
Chariots of the Dogs by Pep

Crystals: Get Your Face To Mars

The Baskets of Easter Island

The Holographic RAM Disk

Sacred Grounds: Ancient Pourovers

Tragedy & Scope: Mystery of Closure

1987: 13 Years Until 1900

Nick Tashiro - Jul 30, 2015 at 02:15
Round 4... sheesh...

31) Your Mother and Other Demons
32) No Bones About It: A Blob's Story
33) Queer Eye For the Dead Guy
34) Two and a Half Minotaurs
35) Muffy the Vampire Humper
36) You Are Who You Eat, By J. Dahmer
37) Entrails: Diversify Your Portfolio
38) Macramé of the Dead
39) Dial M for Meteor
40) Fifty Shades of Gary, By Ron G.

doglobster - Jul 30, 2015 at 02:52
Crossword Puzzles for the Entombed

Sven Aronsson - Jul 30, 2015 at 03:10
The Joy of Hex
A bun in the coven
I pity the ghoul by B.A.Baracas
The Boffo catalogue
Headology for beginners
A cat and a hat, witching for beginners
Fortifying unholy water the easy way
The dark side of the coffee pot
Cat summoning for wiches

Kroms - Jul 30, 2015 at 03:48
The Magic of Reality - Richard Dawkins (what? It'd be funny to have in an occult shop)

Big Red Button - Jul 30, 2015 at 04:13
The Blahs of Hex

Mike B. - Jul 30, 2015 at 04:53
Programming the Z80 by R. Zaks

Matteo - Jul 30, 2015 at 04:57
First of all, a classic citation:
How I Did It by Dr. Victor Frankenstein

Then, something new:
Acupuncture for Aching Aristocrats by Baron Samedi
3D-Printing Your First Pentacle
The Necronomnomnicon by Nyan C
Born Bombastic by Paracelsus
Owning Souls and Real Estate

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:12
"How to survive being caged in a microwave" by H. Hamster

entropy - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:12
"Nevaeh ot Yawriats"

Is this too cryptic? :D

Rob - Jul 30, 2015 at 10:28
Denied!  Lol

entropy - Jul 30, 2015 at 13:58
Hey, don't you like Zep? ;)

Marcel Taeumel - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:13
Body Parts Re-applied
The Art of Shrinking Heads
Stitching for Dummies - Ears'n'Toes
Inside Out - A Picture Book
How to Tame Your Voodoo Doll
A Survivor's Guide to Rotten Food
How to Alter Your Reflection
Telekinesis - Then and Now
Three-Minute Stories for Nightmares
Crafting Crazy Cult Cultures
Lead'n'Gold - Alchemy Explained
A Scrap Book for Shrunken Heads
Saving Taxes in Occult Businesses
Alchemy 102 - Expert Voices
A Primer of Occult Teddy Bears
Fortune Teller's Best
Incantation Songs (Piano'n'Vocal)

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:15
How I killed LeChuck by GT
When I killed LeChuck by GT
Why I killed LeChuck by GT
Where I killed LeChuck by GT

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:20
How to colour your hair during using a motorcycle helmet by Leslie

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:22
How I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
When I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
Why I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
Where I killed LeChuck by GT (again)

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:25
The Secret of what behind the handleless door in the mansion is by Ron Gilbert and Gary Winnick

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:27
CMI and EMI are Insults! by three-headed monkey

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:27
Oh, I forgot the (TM)s

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:30
How to speak human language if you have the anatomy of a dog by Spiffy

Not funny… - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:44
Could you please stop spamming?

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:53
Sorry but I'm just 13 and you have to forgive me everything because I'm not adult yet!

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:57
Er... Sorry, I didn't want to spam... my first comment action I've ever done...

RCM - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:43
If Your Spell Lasts Over 4 Hours
Creating Zombies thru MMORPGs
Generic Humorous Book Title
Werehamsters- The Forgotten Were
Simple Spells for Simple People

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:43
"How to learn to fight like a dairy farmer so that your enemy say "You fight like a dairy farmer" so that you can reply perfectly and win"

three-headed monkey - Jul 30, 2015 at 05:49
OOOOHHHH I'm SOOOOO depressed cos I can't go to the Adventure Treff Party!!!!
by "Guy who thinks somebody is interested in his problems"

entropy - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:01
Totally love that, Ron! :)

Not trying to be the party pooper - but - how can you deal with the sheer
amount of great book titles when it comes to the promised translations?

Boris Schneider and other translators will have a *very* hard time, I guess. :D

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:15
Imported book, never translated.

There's A LOT of titles here that are tied to English language, so there's lot of untranslatable stuff. I wouldn't even try to translate most of these. Even many of my own submissions work only in English.

BTW, I roughly counted the books in wireframe. There's about 1200 books in there :)

PS. I guessed wrong the seckrit question again, and I didn't guess correctly even the next one, which was one + one (what is the correct answer for that, btw? Google just showed me a picture of my phone), and then the page wouldn't load, so I lost the lengthy writing I did, which was incredible. It was funny, it had never seen before insights, it was touching, and frankly, it would have saved the world. But it's gone. Now I just post this.

entropy - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:24
> There's A LOT of titles here that are tied to English language, so there's lot of untranslatable stuff.
> I wouldn't even try to translate most of these. Even many of my own submissions work only in English.

That's my point!

But I don't know if not translating them (or make up other great titles in the target language)
is an option, since the book that solves the puzzle will most probably have to be in the translated language.

That would be inconsistent and in particular a bit too easy, wouldn't it?
Unless there is a clever reason why all books are English books even in the translated version.

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:50
If books in store are imported from English speaking country (i.e. no translations available), then they are in English.

A viable option would be to have this sort of a blog post e.g. in Germany to gather titles that would work auf Deutsch. They don't have to be the same as English counterparts. I'm quite sure there would be lot of submissions, but not sure about the quality. Also, Terrible Toybox (Ron and Gary) would have to have a trusted partner to make sure none of the titles are not something they don't want it to be.

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:53
Oh, and as there is just one book to find, I'm sure there is a way to translate that. Unless it has a pun in untranslatable English.

Mischa Magyar - Jul 30, 2015 at 06:57
As far as I've read the book your searching for is not found by searching for it, but by acquiring a certain item.
So there's not necessarily a direct connection between the book titles on the shelf and the one you're searching for...

On the other hand...
Maybe the translators (or Ron by proxy) start(s) threads for each language where native titles can be entered! :-)

This would cause me to spend even more time in the occult bookstore to scan the titles in all languages I'm able to read! :-)

Steffen - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:15
I disagree (mainly). Some book titles / jokes doesnt work in German or other languages - but many do. And here are SO MANY tiles that I dont see any problem if you skip a few...

Mischa Magyar - Jul 31, 2015 at 09:25
Well... Unfortunately most of the titles would be too long, if you translated them to German...
And most of the really funny ones are funny on more than one level... Which is almost(?) impossible to translate...

Elvis Tanner - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:09
Economicon - The Price of Occultism

and some actual books:
Musaeum Hermeticum
The Revival of Magick
Liber AL vel Legis
The Confessions of Aleister Crowley
The Book of Ceremonial Magic

David - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:11
Een boek over de liefde der dieren

Roman - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:14
After a sleepness night I can only think of...
10 magical ways to upgade to Windows 10

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:17
Gift ideas: voodoo baby dolls
Needlework for voodoo priests
Cordless phones: black magic?
TV Guide: white noise
Séance via telefax
Faxbook tips

The last one actually reminds me of something we actually did: Faxbook. We faxed Facebook page to some numbers and asked from comments. Good fun.

Eketol - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:20
How to train your monkey by H.T.

TR. - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:20
Nice idea, but difficult for non-native speakers to contribute. I hope you repeat this for the other languages, once the translations are on their way. The 35 character limit will be a real challenge in German, though.

This is what I have to offer right now:

"The Pentagon: A Pentagram 2.0?"
"Pentagon vs Pentagram: A dispute"
"Satanic Art: Six-pointed Pentagrams"
"The Adventure of the Thimblewitch" (having a real book in the shelf might be a nice twist)

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:42
> The 35 character limit will be a real challenge in German, though.
That is true. I deal with translations all the time, and German and Spanish are some of the most difficult what comes to length (and I have really struggled with translations from English to French, Dutch, Italian, Russian, Norwegian, Swedish, Finnish...) . They just don't fit in the space reserved for English text.

Sooooo... maybe we could have a narrower font, maybe?

Melena - Jul 30, 2015 at 07:47
Led Zeppalin favorites backwards

educasado - Jul 30, 2015 at 08:10
'How to Train Your Meteor'
'Secret Guide to Win Insult Fighting'
'MILFs and Mansions Ultimate Guide'
'How To Preserve Mummies'
'Hunk-O-Matic Instruction Book for Tentacles'

Dorus - Jul 30, 2015 at 08:17
Contacting your diceased pets Vol. 33 Goldfish

Philipp - Jul 30, 2015 at 08:22
On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers

NylonGamer - Jul 30, 2015 at 08:59
"How to sell fine leather jackets"

Kris Bleakley - Jul 30, 2015 at 09:29
Humans in the closet
Bad Seed by Chuck the Plant
Smells like fish, tastes like chicken
The Rapture: Deal or no deal?
Living with ghosts
The big book of spells
The bigger book of spells
The biggest book of spells
Your wish is granted by Zoltar
Hut of brown, now sit down by b.yaga
Wargames, fact or fiction?
20 classic occult games for your C64

I think you should have stipulated that it's 1987. I personally would be hesitant to use any suggestion that made reference to an event post 1987.

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 09:40
Don't be a tuna head. I agree, but it's an occult bookstore. There has to be books about the future. By bona fide authors who know what's going to happen in 90s, 00s or 01s.

8 - Jul 30, 2015 at 09:58
My ship is filled with ectoplasm

8 - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:09
or My ship is loaded with ectoplasm
however that goes in english

8 - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:59
filled with sounds funnier though

Leak - Jul 30, 2015 at 12:39
Shouldn't that be "My Hovercraft Is Full Of Eels"?

Big Red Button - Jul 30, 2015 at 10:27
The Incomprehensible Floating Point

Henrik Jarlskov - Jul 30, 2015 at 10:32
Stoned Henge
Soul Survivor
Oculus Rift
The Wolly Bibble
The Karma Sutra
The Life of Al Chemist
World of Witchcraft
Never-ever-ending Story
Dissecting Fairies : Errata

JamesC - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:23
Dark Arts and Craft For The Elderly

JamesC - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:25
Hex Editors and Spell Checkers

...and I know this is more than 35 chars, but the full title of that could be:

Hex Editors and Spell Checkers: The Devil's Power Tools

JamesC - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:32
Wicca Wicca Wak: Rhyme'n Spells
Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells Wit Flava
Wicca Wicca Wak: Rap Incantations

I know these are too long, but other possible variations:

Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells For the Gangsta Witch

Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells With a Hip-Hop Flava

Dario Morelli - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:35
The Man Who Resurrected Liberty Valance
Epilation with Hypnosis

Ron Gilbert - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:45
The Man Who Resurrected Liberty Valance


DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:39
Starting a Cult: Beginner's Guide

Monetizing the Apocalypse

Arcane Runesmanship, Volume III

Ralph Upton - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:22
Culting For Profit by Creed
Cult Following For More Fun

Zak Phoenix McKracken - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:40
Bowls and Bowling aren't for fishes
How to saw a seesaw in the sea
How to take a shower without scream
Nostalgia - handmade voodoo dolls

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 11:53
Automatic writing Anthology

Just The Word "Blood" 8,000 Times

Pyramids: Sure, Why Not

Caring for Goblins

Effluvia: A Spellcaster's Guide

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 12:09
Inscrutable: Cultivating Mystique

Inscrutable II: Ritualistic Habits

Inscrutable III: Muttering & Odor

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 12:28
Resurrecting Dead TV Shows

Arto - Jul 30, 2015 at 12:56
Multiverse, vol ∞

TR. - Jul 30, 2015 at 13:05
"Dead Stan Talking"

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 13:10
Autoerotic Trepanation

Alchemy: The Ultimate Tax Loophole

Memento Mori Pop-Up Book

educasado - Jul 30, 2015 at 13:25
The Burial of Atari ET Videgames

LogicDeLuxe - Jul 30, 2015 at 14:21
Grave Robbery: Atari ET cartridges

Bobe - Jul 30, 2015 at 13:29
Help! I'm Trapped In This Book

Rodrifra - Jul 30, 2015 at 15:06
I'm late, I'm late, hope I'm still able to enter the game :D.... here go my list

Decameron.... :) It sounds esoteric when truth is it is erotic :P
The Voynich manuscript
Create your own mummy for dummies.
On the mysteries of Egypt
The Heptameron
The Key of Solomon
Witchcraft today
The Alchemist's Handbook
Making Talismans
Build Your Own Pythagorean Cup

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 15:39
Cursed Item Collector's Guide

Nick Tashiro - Jul 30, 2015 at 15:53
Round 5, the final chapter...

41) The Frog Prince of Bel-Air
42) My 25 All-Time Favorite Rashes
43) In Cold Blood: Lizard Serial Killers
44) Burn, Baby, Burn: A D.I.Y. Guide
45) Gender Stereotypes in Witchcraft
46) Arsenic: The Spice of Life
47) Fairy Dust: Our Children At Risk
48) The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt
49) 101 Things to Do When You're Dead
50) The Zen of Philately By E. Edison

For crying out loud, enough is enough! Take your puns and shove 'em, I quit!!

goodidea82 - Jul 30, 2015 at 15:55
For inspiration, here is a list of real ocult literature:


Günther - Jul 30, 2015 at 16:15
"How to Dance the Time Warp"

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:05
It's just a jump to the left!

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 16:20
Sacred Geometry of the Pointy "S"
Order of the Occult Hand Deathlist
Hanged, Drawn and Quarterly Digest
How to Overreact on a Cosmic Scale
Robe'n'Cloak Fashion Trends
Warding Off Smith's Invisible Hand
Gross Magic for Rude Wizards
The Gentrification of Hammerspace

Philipp - Jul 30, 2015 at 16:29
A novelization of "Brütal Legend"

Natalija - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:00
Yaaaay, we're close to 1000 comments!  These book names are hilarious!

Big Red Button - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:06
Mummy, I Got Herb in my Tummy!

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:07
Hocus, Yes - But Pocus?
Landing Book Deals with Witchcraft
Even I'm Sick of Zombies(I Am One)
Enhance-Your-Cackle Vocal Exercises
Taking Credit for Magnetism

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:10
Good ideas. The first one is the best of these.

Tsa Tsa Lopy - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:21
Will the comments be closed by reaching 1000?
I keep coming back much to often..

Until then:

Load "booktitle",8,1

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:00
I hope so!

NZL - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:39
111 recipes for satanic cupcakes
Fifty shades of darkness
Where's spot?
Pentacles and tentacles
Witch and which: grammatical hell
Sex in non-euclidian dimensions
Video game design for the unholy
Venoms, by Platypus McSpur Jr.

Jon - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:47
The Mystery of Chimpanzee Peninsula

Peter - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:47
Thimbleweed Park 2: Tim Schafers Revenge

Steffen - Jul 31, 2015 at 10:02

DC - Jul 30, 2015 at 17:50
How Bending Cutlery Is Useful

"Xyzzy, And..." Incantation Improv

Hunting Jackalope & Leopardrechaun

ramon soriano - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:14
Catch and binding of Missingno

holy fuck, there are too many good names to actually fit anywhere!

Davide - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:16
12 Hungry (Undead) Men
Gone with the Mortician
My Dead Lady
Bury Poppins

Brian Ruff - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:17
The Cursed Demo by G. Tentacle

Yehuda - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:18
Killer Bees Honey: Recipes
Math in the Afterlife
Number of the Yeast: Cheers Satan
Monocles and Monocycles
Puppeteering for Amputees

Ralph Boyd - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:18
Metaphysical Metal Bands (A-Z)
I Am Bat-meh
Black Cat Wrangling
101 More Hamster Tricks

Brian S - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:24
There are a lot of "book title" suggestions here which really make more sense as movie titles, as they are altered forms of existing movie titles.

Perhaps there could be a "books" section, and a "VHS (or Betamax) tapes" section of the library.... :)

Brian S - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:25
excuse me..  I meant "book store'.

ramon soriano - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:24
12/21/2012: The end is near

Rob Osinga - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:35
Jinxing liedetectors 101.

Mattias Cedervall - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:08
A good one considering there's a murder investigation going on. It would be interesting if that book is gone when we return to the book store later in the game. Then we know the killer have the book just in case.

Rob Osinga - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:37
Cheating recordtimes, the 24hr methode.

Rob Osinga - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:46
Snakes and how not to hate them.
Voodoo....."ring A bell"?
You've got the clock, we've got the time. By Voodoolady.

Mafti - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:47
The hidden secrets of the occultus.
How to survive in Bat Country.

Rob Osinga - Jul 30, 2015 at 18:48
The good, the bad and the Voodoo

Strawberry - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:23
Gluten-Free Voodoo Recipes

Anonymous - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:32
How to Cheat at Tarot by A. Crowley

<insert name here> - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:33
Care and Feeding of Cats

George Smiley - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:39
Clairvoyance for Peeping Fun

(Take Two) - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:41
How to Program in Kobolt

Alvarez - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:43
Tea  and stew making for witches

Macduff - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:49
Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Macbeth Debunked
Choose your own adventure!
Fine Homes and Dungeons
D&D Starter Rules Set

Agent Orange - Jul 30, 2015 at 20:54
UFO's by C.B.G. Spender
From Outer Space by Jose Chung
Waterskiing by William B. Davis
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Avis - Jul 30, 2015 at 22:09
Déjà Voodoo

Hertz - Jul 30, 2015 at 22:24
The Complete Works of M.R. James
A Warning to the Curious
The Poems of Edgar Allen Poe

Bobby - Jul 30, 2015 at 22:38
John Winchester's Journal
Winchester Bible by Carver Edland

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:31
Witch or Nanny? By Terry Toppings
666 or 999? Math for Satanists
Conjouring Today
I help your Conjour
Where is Cthulhu - PG-6
Zombie 101 for Zombies

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:35
Vegan Potions
Witches' Brew Vegan

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:45
100 Tipps to train your familiar
Cat Familiars How to stop the hair

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:57
Sail Away - With Coffin or Boat

JamesC - Jul 30, 2015 at 23:58
Prophesy Investing

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 31, 2015 at 00:05
Oh thats inspiring.. Good one :)

Prophesy - How to Close The Case
Prophetic Crime Fighting

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 31, 2015 at 00:01
The Ghost in the Machine by A. Turing
Boxes that matter by A. Turing

This is actual fun XD

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 31, 2015 at 00:27
#FF0000 - The Red Book
#00FF00 - The Green Book
#0000FF - The Blue Book

Do i HAVE to answer - Jul 31, 2015 at 00:35

MacFrog - Jul 31, 2015 at 01:07
The (un)dead Cat by E. Schrödinger

Steffen - Jul 31, 2015 at 10:08
Nice idea.

But this should be more a "Title" like "How to kill Schrödingers cat finally" or "How to save Schrödingers cat from the undead". May be you make to book parts out of it...

MrBushido - Jul 31, 2015 at 01:22
How about an Aqua Teen Hunger Force easter egg with "Chicken Arise by We Todd Ed"


Dominik - Jul 31, 2015 at 02:34
"I know what you did, (Actor's name)!"

(Actor's name) would of course be replaced by the current actors name.

"Axe or Knife? A murder weapon guide"

"The Darkness"
If you click on it the screen will get darker.

"Please Free me!"
If you click on it Controls will be locked, your character will say something like "FINALLY I'M FREE" and your Test Script will be executed for 10 seconds or something (making it look like the character was posessed). Then the character says something like "Wow, that was weird..." and Controls are unlocked.

"Finally 113 - A Coming Of Age Novel"

Fester S. - Jul 31, 2015 at 03:15
While I think that the book title might be a bit more interesting, I like the idea of the screen becoming darker – at least for a moment – very much.

pirho - Jul 31, 2015 at 03:44
The Occult Language - K & R
How to Evil Eye by Henri Gamache
No hope in occultism by Murry Hope
Occult Queen Politics by John Dee
An introduction to Bohemian Grove
Find your inner Occultist
Craft your Holy Table
Hidden gems of Occultism

Henrik Jarlskov - Jul 31, 2015 at 04:44
Poltergeists and Real Estate
Priest of Persia
Tentacles: The Arms Race

Arto - Jul 31, 2015 at 05:31
CGA: Crystal ball Graphics Adapter
EGA: Enchanted Graphics Adapter
VGA: Voodoo Graphics Adapter

Arto - Jul 31, 2015 at 06:52
Whoops, sorry. It's "Voodoo Graphics Array", of course.

Big Red Button - Jul 31, 2015 at 06:59
Crystal Ball vs. Private Sphere

Mischa Magyar - Jul 31, 2015 at 10:14
I really like this one! :-)

pumbaa - Jul 31, 2015 at 07:02
Ghosts ’n Goblins
Ghouls ’n Ghosts

IndyTheDog - Jul 31, 2015 at 08:19
Nothing Else Mattress© - Comfort Beyond the Grave

Night Shifts in Summertime by June Rota

Password Encryption by Kenny Logins

The Gastric Band - Their Biggest Hits

L Dimas - Jul 31, 2015 at 08:25
Sumo for summoners: Heavy spells.

longuist - Jul 31, 2015 at 08:55
Hocus Pocus by Focus


jodel dodl humpa pa...

JamesC - Jul 31, 2015 at 10:33
Goats - Also a Source of Milk

JamesC - Jul 31, 2015 at 10:33
Goats - Also a Source of Milk