The Library Is Closed

Bummer... I was almost done with my 80's themed cookbook entry. Meant to get it in last night. Oh well, I am glad to see you got lots of participation. I hope you got what you were looking for and not added difficulty in programming.

Those are some nice stats. Thanks for letting us be part of the project! I think it's safe to say that no matter what a person's backer level, they have gotten their money's worth from this project even before playing the game. It's been amazing to follow this one, more so than any project I've backed.

Thank you. This was fun!

I think that crowdsourcing this type of thing is awesome -- because, even though we all have similar tastes in games (obviously), this is a quick way to get really varied content that doesn't sound like it was all written by the same person.  I love helping out on these tasks!

Holy crab sticks, my stupid business totally made me miss this deadline. Hopefully this window will indeed open again.

I was playing Warcraft instead doing something productive like contributing to to the betterment of society. I'm sorry Ron, i'm weak.

If you do open it back up, I'll definitely submit one for a section that needs some extra writing.

Is there a puzzle to solve that include a book/books in this library, or are the books written by you only there to provide some background information?

How will we know if we got books in? Will it be when we play the game, or will you let us know when you make your decision?

Aw, shucks. I thought we had until the end of today.
I was going to finish my "collection" of (6) limericks.

Oh, I thought you were in need of more romance books... I'm a very good soccer player so I could've written about soccer or some other sport I'm involved with if I had known you had so few books about sports! I know a couple of my friends that are doctors so I could've written something about that as well. I did submit my books again with corrections. Here are my four books:


Title: The Last Aid (Short Stories)

(Page 1 in the book) The kid, which he gave away his bullet proof vest to, was actually too small for it. The doctor who gave the vest is now suffering badly by using all might looking to avoid paying the high price which the humanitarian mistake means. Not a sacrifice, he wouldn’t call it that. His first mistake was to become a volunteer. This was now the biggest mistake, perhaps the last aid he would give. Let the bullets whiz away right this minute and I shall dance all night long longer for you, my Lord over black. – Stand by us, heed our cry!

(Page 2 in the book) I looked at the sky and nothing met my gaze. I saw the void. How terrible if I had felt the void. Respiration ceases and the spirit eases. Onwards goes the soul. The ground frost takes possession of the body. Things like faith do exist. In the music I hear cries for angels and heroes. I hear. I drag the coffins. I sing in the choir.

Abandoned.

– Be strong, were whispered. Weep with me.

Scream. SCREAM! Scream...

The meaning of life is to save it?


Title: Tripped on the timeline (Sci-fi)

(Page 8 in the book) - What's that? - It's a cell phone I brought from the future and here's a video you must watch... - Is that really me? - It will be you, unless you stop being selfish! - What? - You had no right to force me into this broken world! It broke ME and the pieces are now begging you not to go to the party where you'll meet my dad. You're a great mother, but that's not enough. I don't have a future in the future. People disappointed me so I disappointed people. I was 12 years old when I

(Page 9 in the book) hadn't cleaned my room in months, so dad became angry and hit me. He would sometimes ask me if I was stupid or pretended to be stupid. I could never come up with an answer. He's a drug user and you're gonna divorce him anyway. Nothing happens 2012, but there's a global financial crisis in 2008. I've brought lottery numbers for you. I've helped many people, but I can't help myself and I don't like asking for help. Please make the world a better place just by doing nothing! Although no one will give you thanks. What will you do?


Title: Funniest eulogies (Jokes and Humor)

(Page 1 in the book) Eulogies should prove that you can't spell "funeral" without "fun". Sometimes people have the nerve to suddenly die, but if you're lucky enough to know someone who's slowly dying, why not tell her/him/it the funny eulogy beforehand? A good hearty laugh could make them prone to include you in their will so you inherit a mansion or an island. Or a mansion on an island.

If you suspect that your funny eulogy won't be appreciated, simply find another funeral. It can be a stranger, just don't let a funny eulogy go to waste. For that is the 11th commandment!

It's

(Page 2 in the book) considered (by sensitive people) bad taste to deliver a funny eulogy in case you were the one who killed the person to death.

If the funeral has guests from different countries, translate the funny eulogy to gibberish.

It's okay to use the same funny eulogy many times if there's a serial suicider on the loose.

A funny eulogy should be cheap like a coffin from IKEA.

Connect the funny bone to the hip bone and shoot from there, maybe the laughter will wake the undead!

- My dear frenemy, bloated and pixelated from decay of a death come too soon...


Title: The Clouds Are Ours (Romance)

(Page 4 in the book) We asked at the same time, but none of us could get down on our knees as we sat in the Paris Ferris wheel and we didn't have to say yes, we kissed. I worked for months to create a pink wedding dress and matching shoes for you. Suitable one of noble birth. When you woke up in the morning by someone tickling your cute feet, it was I who tried to take your measurements. The first flower that I gave you, you used it in the bridal bouquet, to my great delight. And I am so glad that you think I'm handsomely dressed!

(Page 5 in the book) The twilight song dissipates, rings out of the narrow. The sea brings storms of emotions. We dive in from the steamboat jetty. So the knot is tied. Our symbiosis complete, including roses and thorns. I can now define happiness. It won't be daytime until our wedding night is over, and it lasts as long as we want to.

Have you seen such an elusive day it is. What does the clouds look like today? They let through a ray that warms us a bit, which is welcome in the skiing trails here in the Alps. I have not been here before unlike you, but I enjoy it. Our honeymoon underneath a shy moon is almost over.

PS. I wrote two new books in English for Thimbleweed Park and the other two books are short stories I wrote in Swedish several years ago and translated to English. I translated one of them (The Last Aid) two years ago and the other (The Clouds Are Ours) I translated now for Thimbleweed Park.

Hi all! It looks like I missed the deadline and hope it will open again!
Anyways,  I post my novel here...
_________________________
Careless
by Csiri
[Page 1]
I endeavored to maintain an even pace as I kept going along the mountain. I must’ve been going like this for a while now, though to be honest, I couldn’t remember; all I focused on was to keep my eyes on my destination, trying not to think about what would happen if I looked down. I would likely be terrified by the height and fall to my death, all because of one careless move. I pressed on regardless, clinging firmly to gaps in the rocky hillside like a hawk to its prey.
Why should I not care? Why in the world should I not care? I kept repeating the question in my mind at fixed intervals. I noticed some fresh blood gushing from beneath my nails. My whole hand was a mess of cuts and scrapes. The skin on my knuckles was all torn up. I’d never been a skilled climber; in fact, I probably wasn’t a good one at all. I wasn’t good with heights, either, and lacked the necessary endurance. I was, however, quite adept at forcing myself to do things I was otherwise terrible at in order to get me through situations I normally wouldn’t have been able to overcome otherwise. That feat, however, had its price – my gory mess of a hand stood testament to it.
I kept going, gritting my teeth with such intensity I expected them to break and pop out of their sockets. I reassured myself that I only had a few more meters to go as I accidentally cut my forearm following a botched move. As a result, I instead made myself focus on the monotone nature of my own thoughts. There was no reason for me to care. And I didn’t – not to this extent. Yet here I was, climbing ever onwards.
Why was I so adamant about this? A futile question, for all intents and purposes – that much I knew. Yet I nonetheless tried to collect my thoughts. I found it, then lost it. Or perhaps I never found it at all. It was all too confusing. Man, I totally lost it. We invented a reality for ourselves, only to cling onto it with utmost desperation. All for nothing. The very thought of it made me chuckle.
[Page 2]
A distant rumble interrupted my thoughts. I looked up. She stood on the opposite side, shouting at me: “Hey! Hey!”
I pulled myself up to nearby outcropping and raised an arm to wave at her. This proved unwise – the violent surge of pain electrifying my whole body reminded me of my injuries; I was covered in bruises.
„You okay?” – she shouted with notable worry in her tone. „Were you not hurt?”
„This…?” – I answered, still struggling to breathe. „Just comes with the territory…” – I said, my features contorting in pain.
A brief period of time passed in complete silence, with neither of us saying a word. I stared at the hillside, trying not to look at the gaping abyss below.
“And now…?” – she asked. “What will happen now?”
“Now? Well, nothing at all.”
She was visibly astonished. “But… then… This makes no sense! You came all the way here for me, only to…”
I interrupted her. „For you?! I never once said I came here for you! I came this far to show you I was capable of doing it… Like you would’ve ever asked! You and your kind are incapable of even asking anymore. You’re afraid of commitment, knowing you’d be unable to live up to expectations. So there you have it!”
She closed her mouth and simply stared at me in silence, trying to make sense of the words I’d just shouted into the wind. Or at least I hoped so.
“Perhaps you’re waiting for someone to do something you yourself are incapable of. But no one’s gonna do anything they know nothing about! If you want something, do it yourself! No matter how pointless it may seem.”
And with that, I turned around and began my descent with the kind of care and precision I’d never once exhibited my entire life. It went way easier – and faster – than my ascent. As pain once again flared up in my bruised fingertips, all I could do was smile.

Aw, nuts. I was hoping the deadline went until the end of the 29th ;p

If you want a non-fiction book on time-travel, I wrote an entry for that...

Oh man, I found a small grammar error in my submission, now I won't be able to sleep at night.

Oh nuts.  I also thought that the deadline date of August 29th meant that submissions would be accepted today. =(

I feel like writing a book called "Karma Sutra" or "Parry Hotter"... :P

I was thinking...
- we have over 3000 books in the Occult Bookstore, submitted by users
- we'll have almost 1000 books in the Library, submittet by users
It cannot be said that users of this blog are without culture!!
And... future players will have a good pastime in reading all our submissions!
Thimbleweed Park has already won.

The most unpopular topics:

-Business
-Home and Garden
-Health
-Sports and Outdoors

The most popular topics:

-Adventure
-Mystery
-Sci-fi

Ok, so most of the users are couch potatoes, don`t care about their health, live in messy homes and are unemployed. But at least they don`t seem to be unhappy: They live in imaginary worlds full of adventure and mystery, or dream of the future...

I chose to refrain from yet another astrophysics article/book and went for something completely else :)

I've been listening a lot to the cute, talented and wonderful Cyndi Lauper <3 singing "I drove all night" while writing so I can recommend that while as we are approaching the deadline which will hopefully bring life to more books! ;-) :-)

As "promised" on Twitter, I also sent the "Insult Swordfighting 101" book (by a certain Oswald *Smeerque* Jr.). I hope it doesn't break any of the rules!

I have a question, though. Did this, by any chance, replace my previous submission from days ago? I'm concerned because the URL of the page that would let me modify my submission right away was the same as the previous one (though I figured out that once closed, I can't access them anymore).

If I had to choose between the two I'd gladly for the first, even if I love the second as well!

I took the "1987 appropriate" bit kind of seriously and wrote about a dozen parodies of the bestselling books of 1986-87. Now I'm wondering if I tripped up on the "Must be your original work. No public domain works." rule. "Fine Stuff"  by Danielle Peele, "That" by Stephen Bachman, "Canadian Psycho" by Bruce Beston Ennis, and "Neurondancer" by Bill Gibbons is all original work, right?

Oops, waited a little too long on this one. It was sports related too!

King of the Links
Reggie McGregor
thunderous smash as metal meets dimpled glory. You’ll never go back after using the Matubo XLXLX driver. And so stylish! The tactile grips come in zebra, tiger or cheetah because you deserve real fur, not that cheap rubber that other manufacturers use. We guarantee the Matubo Golf System™ will enhance your love life and your golf game. The Matubolux Putter is the ultimate in golf ball delivery systems. Why, we dare you to try to miss. You couldn’t sink the ball any better if we handed you a broom and told you to sweep it right into the hole. This gold-plated beauty is on the forefront of 1970’s composite materials. And don’t forget the gas-powered Matubo 3000, known as the Ferrari of course mobility devices. But be careful not to drive too close to the gallery because the ladies will be throwing themselves into your golf cart. We’ll even include a sleeve of Matubo’s Excellence Balls. These balata covered marvels are wound 800 times with Brazilian Tarantula webbing and contain a core of elephant ivory. Your balls will ride the winds of destiny all the way into the cup. Longer. Higher. Farther. Faster. The Matubo Golf System. They’ll pay you to play on their course. Guaranteed.*
(* Not guaranteed.)

I've submitted four books so far: one travel, one mystery, one self-help (sent in twice due to a correction) and now one health.
I'm a journalist by trade and quite used to writing in different styles, so I just wanted to say that - if you are still falling short in any particular categories - please just drop me a line if you need anything else rustled up.
This was such an amazing idea and I've loved being involved.
Thank you.

but you keep only the good ones, right? :x

Open Library
- "Sorry, it's closed, NOW!"
Open Library
- "Which part of 'NOW' is not clear?"

I wonder how many cookbooks included a microwave. I remember we used to have lots of cookbooks specific to the microwave back in the 80s. It was kind of a new and exciting thing back then.

For as much as I loved this library task, I hope it doesn't require 3 more temps to sift through all the data and push back the game to next summer. ;-)

I DO hope it provides Ron and the team with a few laughs.

My submission "How Perilous is Pasta?" was submitted as "Food" but really could go in the "Health" category,  as it's a parody of different anti-drug rhetoric and attitudes I remember from the 1980s. Mix it up as you wish, fellas. Even if my entries don't make it in, they were so much fun to write. Thank you for crowdsourcing this task.

You guys should totally extend that deadline by another week.

I totally missed this :

Will it be apparent within the game that those books in the library and in the occult book store are invented by backers (with a few exceptions)?

I threw in a couple of books myself as well. It'll be interesting to see if they get in the library. Then again, I don't know how much I'll end up randomly picking up those books.

Since translating nearly 1000 of these might take a very long time, why not simply redo the exercise with entirely different texts for different languages?  I won't be able to enter as I only speak English (and a small amount of Maori) but this might be a faster way to get 1000 ish books for other languages.  This way translational issues won't be a problem at all.

Will there be some sort of announcement or list regarding which submissions were accepted?